I knew a boy once upon a time
He went to war, tall and strong
But when I saw him next
There was an air about him
Which I had never known
He said he’d seen where heaven and hell began
Right on those battle fields
There he said
No mere earth could ever triumph
And man was just an afterthought

And when he went away again
I saw his gait had changed
Where once he stood, tall and strong
Now I saw only withered bones
Tethered by a weary soul
He would not look me in the eye
When I hugged him goodbye

Said he would write if there was time
Said he would live if there was time

I waited for word from him
My sweet, sweet childhood boy
But when his letter came
He spoke only of the weather
Said it hot and wet
And that he had no time for more
He said his heart was still adjusting
And could not voice his thoughts
And in between each line
I read a separate tale
One which told me all
How his mind was spinning in confusion
And running far ahead of his young heart
And that was why he had no words
And never would

I saw him once again
On he leave he was
And came to spend his weeks with me
I held him close those nights
Because I knew he felt adrift
For him he said there was no ground
Only the swirls of the battlefield
On which he spent each day afloat
Drifting from friend to friend
And death to death

He said he’d lost count
Of all the innocents he’d killed
The enemies he’d slaughtered
In the name of home and heart
That all he saw was blood drenched hands
And lifeless eyes begging,
Always begging in his dreams
To know the life they would have had
If he had not been born
Had not enlisted
In the futile battle in which he fought

And when he walked away
I saw a new change
His eyes were filled with madness,
A knowledge only he could understand
And once again he turned his back
And for one brief moment
I saw the boy
That walked to war
Head held high, chest thrust out
Gleaming buttons fresh, unsoiled,
Walking tall and strong
And I wept for I knew
That he would never again walk away
This was his last journey
Through our home
Across the fields we’d lost ourselves to play,
And past the long forgotten space
In which we’d kissed and laughed
As happy children
He had a purpose now

One which none could take away
I knew he had dept to pay
And coming was the closing day
There was nothing even I could say

So I cried and held my eyes to him
This last time
Forever