Habitually conforming my life to that dreaded place of compromise ,When will I open my eyes and realize that to actualize the potential in my life, I gotta let go of my current line of thinking……AAHHH!! OUCH!! What’s going on? Reality hits me and I’m left weary eyed and blinking…Drinking long and deep from this cup I’ve been given….Flavored of grace but tainted with the Bitter sweet reality of the choices I make…Still unsure as to whether or not I approve of the taste….How do I escape the ever tempting lie that it’s all a waste…well, I just…drink deep, and don’t…think cheap…this beverage of….of…….of Understandable confusion, and a much needed infusion of complete acceptance…regardless of the foolish choices I make, Still….Reality hits hard -Just hard enough to break into the safe haven of what I perceive as real…Constantly requiring me to break free of the chains of living my life based off of what I feel,…Knowing there IS an enemy to fight…And HE WILL do whatever it takes And whatever he likes to make sure and steal the truth of who I really am….MAN!! that’s a lot to take in…and the outcome doesn’t always look great…. it often looks grim…..At the very same time I’m without AND within….the bounds of insanity….Elusive calamity…..It’s like my life has never really fallen completely apart, as if its being held together by some kind of extremely flexible cosmic glue (LOVE) it chases after me with an unflinching determination bent on the annihilation of all my short comings, mistakes, and restraints….‘cuz perfect I aint, though I’ve been told I’m a saint…..I hear the call, it sounds distant and faint/Don’t paint me a picture….Just give me a dream……something blissful…full of love….But then I recall that LOVE MEANS NOTHING UNTIL IT HURTS…..Then all the pain in my life comes into sharper focus…and I start to contemplate the possibility that I’M IN THAT DREAM…..That I am being severely and ruthlessly pursued….Sought after with an unquenchable diligence………..IF…To love is to teach, and to be taught is to unlearn….and to unlearn is to grow….and growing is painful……Then maybe I really am loved.