Haiku for the Crab

21 Comments

Tags:
  • Suffering
    • ,
  • Pain
    • ,
  • Anger
    • ,
  • Family
    • ,
  • Death

    Poem Commentary

    This is a rhyming haiku for my Grandfather, who recently died of cancer. He was always cheery and used complex, flowery language, until the tumors took the energy to do so out of him. He taught me my love of poetry.

    Haiku for the Crab

     Sweet smirks turn sour-
    He must be getting tired,
    Choosing fewer words

    Still means an hour
    For thoughts to be transpired,
    Broken into thirds.

    Must be the cancer,
    I sit helpless as it feasts:
    Dreaded spreaded crab.

    *

    Now he won't answer.
    Less pain when asleep at least,
    Even on a slab.

    Poem Comments

    (21)

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    thecross commented on Haiku for the Crab

    01-11-2011

    nicely written haikus and a wonderful tribute well done Aaron
    Reply to Comment

    knight4696 commented on Haiku for the Crab

    12-08-2010

    Aaron .. What a very nice tribute .. a creative use of Haiku's. Great job! :) Ken
    Reply to Comment

    PoetWithCancer commented on Haiku for the Crab

    11-29-2010

    Dear Aaron, // I was just in the Chat room here (the main one) a while ago, and someone said something that made me think of you. // While thinking of you, and considering how much heart (and mind) you put into those of your poems that I have found to be such a pleasure to read--even those moving me to a sad reflective mood--I suddenly was inspired. Not having my usual pen and notebook handy, I quickly wrote a poem, right there in the Chat room, and posted it there first. // The title of this, my newest poem, is: "Sidney Says: Advice to Poets and All Writers"--and it was written from me to you. // My heart having created the poem, my mind then touched it up a bit. Now it is posted on my site. I named you as the inspiration for the poem in the dedication. // I hope you will like the poem (but if you don't, please say so! And give it whatever critique you think it merits. I prize honesty as one of the chief virtues of both life and science, second only to compassion). // I hope, too, that you will approve of my naming you as the inspiration. // I've been very busy putting many of my poems up on OP.com--some recent ones, some brand-new ones (like the one you inspired a little while back). and some from a year or more ago. I want to leave online as much of myself in poetry--and also in poetic prose--as I can. // Aaron, I'm still haunted by your poem "Haiku for the Crab." I'm glad to see you took my advice and changed the word from "haikus" to "haiku." But in the end, you could call this poem anything at all, and not detract from the great beauty, total truth, and powerful impact of this poem. It is a masterpiece, in my evaluation. // All my best wishes to you. // --Michael LP, Mr. Poet
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    PoetWithCancer commented on Haiku for the Crab

    11-10-2010

    2. As for your poetry, you really are an excellent poet. Although in some respects, at some times, you are still a fledgling poet, your poetry is always good and interesting. And at other times, as with your "A Haiku for the Crab," you show that you can be a mature poet with controlled strong emotions and perfect diction. My only suggestion would be to change the title to "Haiku for the Crab" because your poem is not "a haiku" but a number of haiku serving serially as stanzas. The word "haiku" is both singular and plural, as in "a haiku" or "several haiku." // The poem itself is a great poem with deep powerful meanings expressed in starkly, darkly beautiful language..The poem is perfect for its purposes and meanings, achieving that paradoxical power of some of the best great poetry to express ideas and feelings about terrible things framed in words that are both catharctic and upbuilding, and beautiful. // I wish I had the time to give all your poems the depth and breadth of commentary they deserve. I intend to do so with some of your poems as time goes by, if and when I can. I have several other poets I have commited to, and I must keep my promise. But I will find time and occasion to give some of your poems, which I have read and with pleasure and profit and have copied for repeated reading, the in-depth commentary they deserve. // I hope that all is going well with you, fellow poet. // Whatever is happening in your life--good and/or bad--write about it. For a poet like you, you can make music and meaning of it all. // Bye now. --Michael LP, Mr. Poet
    Reply to Comment

    arronpalmer

    11/12/2010

    Again, I am not worthy of such kind comments. I love that you like this poem in particular, few could argue against you rejecting it given its sensitive content, but it serves to show the strength of your character that you return to champion it. And for that, I am eternally grateful, as are the countless other "fledgling" poets you help daily. Fulfil your promises, you have already done so much for me, but know that you are not only always welcome to my work but encouraged, for your reviews are insightful, heart-warming and constructive, or invaluable for short. Thank you truly Michael.

    PoetWithCancer commented on Haiku for the Crab

    11-10-2010

    1. Dear Aaron, // If ever you decide to use a pen name, I suggest Aaron Fire. That way you keep your real first name. And there is a play on words: air and fire. Two of the famous four elements that some of the ancient Greek thinkers once posited as the elemental composition of all things. The other two of those four fundamental elements, posited so many centuries ago, are water and earth (as in soil or dirt). // It looks as though I may be gone from the Internet and perhaps even from the world much sooner even than I feared before. I am struggling to hold on, and I will be very happy if my present circumstances improve and if I can continue to get medical care and have a roof over my head, etc. I cannot now predict the final outcome or how soon things may go one way or the other. But I wanted to tell you that though I have only had a relatively few brief exchanges with you, I am quite fond of you. I have gleaned enough of the secret person of your heart from your poetry and your comments, both to me and to others, to have come to like you. I like you as a person.
    Reply to Comment

    arronpalmer

    11/12/2010

    Haha, that pen name is incredibly clever, thank you very much! Though I haven't ever thought of adopting a pen name, and despite my name is pronounced with a short, hard A (like Karen, or Sharon) as opposed to an elongated one like 'air', Aaron Fire is without question the forerunner! As for what else you said, I am completely humbled. I view as both wise and yet a willing learner, always open to new stuff. The fact you still spend time helping others with their poetry is testament to that. So thank you, I both pray and genuinely think your kindness and humility will reward you with an extended stay with us.

    To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

    Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

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