A Soldier's Story

15 Comments

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  • Emotional

    A Soldier's Story

    Not yet off the foreign soil,
    wicked battles because it's all about oil.
    Would I rather face deployment,
    or sit, wait and collect unemployment.
    Cannons, tankers ride across the ground,
    my wife and kids cannot even come around.
    Shouts go out to the soldiers that fought in the Gulf and the Nam,
    No love, no tears shed for the blood of Sudham.
    My country is depending on my bravery,
    But I don't know if I'll ever be worthy.,
    of fighting for and like the four fathers before me.
    I struggle day by day, hour per hour, night and back to the day,
    Can't seem to let the fear go away.
    I've asked God to give me the strength to go on,
    I've asked my son "Do you know why daddy's gone?"
    All he does is cry and says please come back,
    but I know we can't stand another attack.
    I was told I'm here indefinitely,
    but what about my family?
    I have a life outside of this place I like to call hell,
    sometimes I'd rather sit in a jail.
    The united shall stand and never look to fall,
    liberty and justice was created but not seen for all.
    But my people are praying for me,
    kids of all ages look up and see,
    the red, the white and the blue,
    I'm a soldier, and this is my story for you.

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    Kamal commented on A Soldier's Story

    09-20-2011

    also, like I've said, I've never been to war... your poem, although very emotive, comes across as a diary entry... strait telling it as it is and feels, but maybe give the readers some space to decide and fill in some emotions and feelings. Spoon-feeding your feelings to the readers takes away from what you actually may have tried to make them feel. I'm not sure if I am making sense. -probably not. hmm

    nikkiquander

    09/20/2011

    Hi Kamal. Thanks for your feedback. I was not speaking of any personal experience because i've never been to war either. I have never enlisted in the military. My grandfather fought in WWII, my best friend fought in the Gulf war and my father faught in Vietnam. I just took all of their experience and created something out of the ordinary for myself. It may sound like a diary entry to some people but the people I let read it, that have acutally fought in wars and some that are fight now have actually shed a tear and thanked me. This is my favorite poem, and I am a semi finalist in poetry contest that i entered it in.

    Kamal commented on A Soldier's Story

    09-20-2011

    ... my poem on my page deals with similar ideas. Though, I've never been to war -I can't understand being a pawn, risking life, taking lives for a government, for things so materialistic and monetary, fueling wars, being apart and helping something grow, when it is that same something that we hate and try to avoid.

    kpeery09 commented on A Soldier's Story

    12-28-2010

    Bravo, this would make a perfect Requiem for a Soldier's life. We shall all salute to those who sacrifice themselves to protect our freedom. I give you 10 for an awesome poem.

    MrGee commented on A Soldier's Story

    07-07-2009

    EXCELLENT! As a Vietnam vet your poem brought me to a place I remember with fondness and sadness. Great rhythmn and terric wording is evoked in the poem. my favorite verse has to be " My country is depending on my bravery." I lost some brave friends in the Nam. Thanks

    nikkiquander

    07/19/2009

    i'm glad that you enjoyed it. although i've never been in the military, i have friends and relatives who have and the showed unbelievable emotions when they told me their experiences. i used that to put together this poem!!!

    yaboi commented on A Soldier's Story

    07-06-2009

    "The united shall stand and never look to fall, liberty and justice was created but not seen for all" ........I thought this was a powerful line. i enjoyed this poem

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

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