A soul is loss....seeks an endless remorse..


  • Altair
  • Don't read me, I am not that good.......

Poem Commentary

Just talking and thinking a wirlwind of my thoughts...

A soul is loss....seeks an endless remorse..

A century has passed, my soul still last
lost in mute space as an empty mass
once was a king amongst the mist of ash
now just a being of less worth than brass.
Why is it that I feel like this? I can't catch
a break in my essence of life forming mess
impressed by the antics of people I test
faltering in rue of their endless acts.
The railroad tracks I walk upon mesh
into the background of the darkest black
within this scene a life form attacks
me, my soul, and thought are out matched.
The wind blows in subtle gust of passionate
sunshine laced trek as it enters my mask
I am that in which it contacts and attached
to the blood in my heart traveling entrapped
to share each breath in a circular trap
released as it interjects my recent collapse...

The roses have bled, the ashes are death
I represent them well in each breath
the more I sit here, the more I confess
the spoken word is gravely written..rest
in peace to the east as the sun shares heat
I retreat to the seas to bask in its leak
as the river I rest in foresees
a desert like quality in the coming century.
Nothing can stop the rush of karma
as the bomb becomes me, the bullet blocks the armor
this metaphor rest well and proper
I don't know anything..resting..slumber
I can't see anything...deafening martyr
I can't hear anything..blinded supporter
Speak no evil in the raging waters
drowned is my body...heaven's calling.

I warrant this to dismiss my falling
into the depths of abysmal nothing
into a decrepid grave..the cornice broken
lament the loss, now a useless orphan
in need of a place to call home in wanton
circumstances that my body once formed.
Calm...the breeze calls for alarm
the swarm of infinite voices are calling
what is the reason for this beckoning song?
I see light, now I realize the reason for this poem.....

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Marsink commented on A soul is loss....seeks an endless remorse..


You are the king of elicited emotion: "the roses are bled, the ashes are death, I represent them well in each breath...and...I warrant this to dismiss my falling, into the depths of abysmal nothing". A slice of perfection personified! Applause crescendo!



Glad you enjoyed it Mars...your comments are always insightful and welcoming...I need to write something new...the pen beacons

SavVySam commented on A soul is loss....seeks an endless remorse..


A long and meaningful journey as we travel through this elaborate piece...I enjoyed the wrap in thought at conclusion as well. Good work!;)

Rygar commented on A soul is loss....seeks an endless remorse..


this is why i always send people to read you ... "I retreat to the seas to bask in its leak"



Haha that's what's up man..glad you enjoyed it



I am great savvy..and it is even greater to see you again beautifying the frame of my work...thank you

Embraced commented on A soul is loss....seeks an endless remorse..


"Do not read me, I am not that good" Are you kidding me, Altair? You are more than good..... E~



Lol im not sure why I put that just so people will read out of curiosity perhaps....thanks for the compliment and the comment E...

knight4696 commented on A soul is loss....seeks an endless remorse..


Altair - You disappear for awhile and when you come back - you post another masterpiece! :) Man .. I love your style ... again your use of metaphors and rhyming skills never cease to amaze me. Awesome write pal! :) Ken



thanks alot ken, its been a while I know...glad you enjoyed the poem, I kinda like it myself

Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

Altair’s Poems (53)

Title Comments
Title Comments
?....? 0
The Builder refused 0
To be my most recent thought 1
I've Said enough to Know 2
I've Said Enough to Mean 2
Just because I like Trees 2
Contemptuous Nonchalance 2
Unearthly Manifest... 2
Like Water for Dark Chocolate.... 2
Impenitent Soliloquy 3
Figurative Meadow... 1
Windows 1
In jam meant to be... 2
Upon My "Death" 5
The Butterfly Effect Set … 4
The Quiet Storm Enters A Room... 2
The Diamond Age of Yesternight..
A Choir of Angels are We in Poetry.... 10
Dear Love, by the time you manifest this poem, you'll be gone..... 10
On Hallows Eve, Hollow grief as Death I Foresee......
From blood, death darkens to stone's manifest.....
The Forest is a Journey In my Darkness complete.... 10
The Wrath of My Titan Enlightenment
..whatever that is...
Failure of my trinity...lea
ked was in sanity.
A soul is loss....seeks an endless remorse.. 10
Madness exist in her gift..... 7
The London Show at the Tate's Estate.......
.Part two adieu
The London Show at the Tate's Estate.......
I'm Back.... 7
A Warped View of My Inner Sanctum...... 4
What do I see? What do you believe? 9
Lacking in Madness...... 14
Elemental portance in alchemic relevance.. 9
The Calamity of Conformity...
The Vicarious Rues..... 6
Within this Quill, manifest on the Canvas....Art 8
A Voiding thought is all I sought.... 4
Pushing away the loving Void....... 10
Vessels of ash, Souls thus passed... 4
The Infinite battle from Night to Light....... 5
Trick or treat in the Streets of hollowed teens..... 5
Untitled Breaths... 11
Kharon was the fairest of guides to my fruition.....
The inevitable of lovers in dreams.... 5
If I could trap you in my vigil.... 3
I emit my lah... 2
An instant revelation of… 7
The crossroads of..... 3
How things change in a moment..... 4
How Angels and Human Inclinations are One...... 5
Frailty begets Strength...C'
est la vie...
The conquest..... 11