Trying to make since

Of all the bodies, bullets and a broken Heart

Feeling all the pain alone

Am I supposed to act like it never happened

Like it didn’t scar me forever

Yet here I am

Acting a dork

Trying to mask the endless pain

While you laugh at my expense

Just don’t want you to see through me

Deep anger

You and the rest of the world will never know

Impossible to understand

In less you were there

Yes I’m off on some days of the year

Those days have names

Faces I’ll never forget

Those are the memories impossible to lose

And I bear it all alone

I’m fine

I’m stronger

But I’ll always face this pain alone

Pissed I have to act like it’s all fine

It’s not

A lucky few found Love

Takes their pain away

I envy those lucky few

I’ll carry on

For those I left behind

I’ll be the best I know how

For them

For myself

To the rest

I don’t know what to say

So I’ll continue to mask

To hide

The dark truth

People speak of hell

Try carrying pieces of your comrades

Watching them die before your eyes

Killing without hesitation

Killing out of fear

Out of anger

To keep your buddies alive

To bring yourself home

To that special one

O wait

In my case she wasn’t there

And my curse began

The day I set foot back home

Cursed to remain alone

To live with the pain alone

Like the families of those I killed

Cursed to never have a woman

While women I once loved chose pieces of shit over me

A funny home I’ve come back to

Don’t make sense to me

So I’m packing my bags

Living where I can hear my Heart

And where I hope to find a real woman

Hopefully one day

I can earn the right to be happy again

-Fin-