©2010 Wrap my Wings around You

2 Comments

Tags:
  • Confusion
  • ,
  • Love

    Poem Commentary

    I LOVE YOU but do you love me?

    ©2010 Wrap my Wings around You

    I try to wrap my wings around you
    shelter you from whats pullin you down
    I dream you'd let me and you'd hold  me too
    then wake to see you nowhere around.

    I cant do anything else but stay
    such steep valleys in which you dwell
    cmon baby dont push me away
    because you're putting me in hell.

    Once I thought it was something I'd done
    was I not good enough for your sweet love?
    is it you fearing that someday I'd run?
    you cant race from destiny or ascend to the above.

    Say something say anything, anything at all
    my heart hurts in your abscence, I miss your eyes
    without you by me I feel so small
    I can take no more of these lies .

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    LeslieMay commented on ©2010 Wrap my Wings around You

    06-23-2010

    I like your ryhme scheme here, with the alternating lines. That's difficult for me to pull off. Good emotion.

    weirdlittlekc commented on ©2010 Wrap my Wings around You

    06-09-2010

    I like the flow of it, but in some places it sounds a little forced.

    Insideme

    06/09/2010

    Thank You for reading it and for the critism, it means alot to get feedback.

    Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

    Insideme’s Poems (127)

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