With a drink in my hand I stare at the sand. The waves crash over my soul with such a force that awakens my pain. It did not take much for those lost years to resurface and for the emotions to swell. It never takes long for the tears to build. The fight only begins when trying to push back the brink of the wall that teetters to fall. If I am to be strength, then no tears can flood my face. My pain is real but should never be seen. Should I simply embrace the pain and let it fly away? Or should this pain be given its due and let the tidal consume all of me? I decide to let it roll away with the days of memories past, but it will come back...it always does. There is nothing to be done. If I want positivity then I have to let it go and act as if it never was..but that then denies my own existance which is what they have done for years. The battle is over for now but will arise again within seconds without my knowing. What can I ever do? God it hurts so bad, but again the tears must go away.....if one should cry should it not at least be for a good damn reason?