AM I CRAZY? I AM CERTAIN THAT I'M NOT. BUT IT SEEMS THAT MY CERTAINTY IS CONSTANTLY CHALLENGED. THE WAY THAT I THINK ABOUT THINGS ARE 'RIGHT' IN MY MIND, BUT THINGS ARE NOT THE WAY THEY OUGHT TO BE.
I TRULY BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING USED TO BE ALRIGHT, YOU KNOW-HUMANLY CORRECT. EVERYONE USED TO POSSESS HIS OWN FUNTIONALITY FOR THE GOOD OF ALL MANKIND. BUT, SOMEWHERE IN THE PAST-DECADES,OR MAYBE EVEN CENTURIES AGO-ONE PERSON...THE ONE TRUE FATHER (OR MOTHER) OF DYSFUNTION, PASSED THE POISON DOWN TO HIS CHILDREN. THOSE CHILDREN, BECAUSE OF THEIR UNAWARENESS OF IT, PASSED THAT SAME POISON ON TO THEIR CHILDREN. AND SO ON, AND SO ON, TIL THIS WORLD FULL OF A GAZILLION PEOPLE INHERITS AND ADHERES TO THE INBRED DYSFUNCTION OF THOSE THAT CAME BEFORE THEM.
SURELY, IT IS MUCH EASIER, TO FALSLY BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING IS PERFECT, THAN TO FAIL AT TRYING TO FIX WHAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE WRONG. TRULY, YOU KNOW, IN YOUR HEART, THE REALITY OF THE WORLD'S TOTAL DYSFUNCTION.
AT THIS TIME IN OUR EXISTANCE, WE FIND THAT THE MAJORITY OF THE HUMAN RACE IS NUMB TO THEIR EMOTIONS, VOID OF FEELING. ACTING, AND REACTING EXACTLY THE WAY THEY HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO THROUGH COUNTLESS GENERATIONS. THEREBY, ALLOWING THEIR ABNORMAL THINKING PATTERNS AND THEIR INHERITED DYSFUNCTION TO GROW. LIKE A WEED. LIKE A CANCER.
THE SADDEST PART OF ALL OF THIS IS THAT EVERYONE HONESTLY BELIEVES THAT THEY ARE... 'OK'. YOU KNOW-NORMAL. MEANWHILE, ALL THE "DEEP" THINKERS, ALL THE "DEEP" FEELERS OF EMOTIONS (LIKE MYSELF), ARE MADE TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE ABNORMAL.
"DEEP" PEOPLE NUMBER VERY FEW. FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW WE AVOIDED BEING CAGED WITH THE OTHERS. HOW WE ESCAPED THE POISON, THAT LED THE OTHERS TO THAT CAGE. OUR NUMBERS ARE DWINDLING IT IS CERTAIN THAT SOMEDAY, THERE WILL BE NONE OF US "DEEP" PEOPLE REMAINING.
IN THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL, AND DEEP IN MY HEART, I BELIEVE THAT I AM NORMAL, BUT, I SENSE THE TEETH OF DYSFUNCTION CLOSE AT MY HEELS. WAITING TO TEAR INTO MY FLESH. DEVOURING MY "DEEPNESS" AND DIGESTING ME INTO A NUMB AND UNFEELING PRISONER OF THE CAGE.
THE FIGHT IS ONGOING. I AM AWARE OF, AND GRATEFUL FOR, MY STRONG SENSE OF INTUITION. I ALSO REALIZE THAT THIS GIFT IS MY ONLY SUPPORT.
THERE IS NO ONE FROM MY PAST, AND NO ONE PRESENTLY, THAT I CAN COMFORTABLY TALK WITH ON THIS SUBJECT. NO ONE WOULD EVER THINK(MUCH LESS SAY), "HEY! SHE MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING."
NO ONE REALLY WANTS TO FACE THE POSSIBILITY THAT THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEIR THINKING, ACTIONS, REACTIONS, OR EVEN THEIR LIFE. NO WAY. INSIDE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM IS A SCARED LITTLE CHILD. THE CHILD THEY USED TO BE LONG AGO THAT NEVER GOT TO GROW UP. THAT CHILD IS HIDING "DEEP" INSIDE OF THEM. TELLING THEM, DAY IN AND DAY OUT, "YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT SHE IS THE CRAZY ONE. SHE IS THE ODDBALL IN THIS SQUARE WORLD OF OURS". FOR IF THEY CONTINUE TO FALSELY BELIEVE, AND HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE TO THIS BELIEF, THEY WILL NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE PROBABLE POSSIBILITY (OF WHICH THIS CHILD DEEP INSIDE THEM ALREADY KNOWS TO BE FACTUAL) THAT THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEIR WAY OF THINKING, AND LIVING.
THE MAJORITY OF THE "DEEP" MINORITY ARE NORMAL, LIKE ME. BUT BEING UNCONSCIOUSLY IGNORANT, THEY FIND THEMSELVES PREFERRING TO BLEND IN WITH THE REST OF THE POISONED HUMAN RACE....IN THE MURAL OF DYSFUNCTION THAT HAS WRAPPED ITSELF AROUND THE WORLD WITH PLASTER PARIS SO TIGHTLY, THAT THEY CAN'T BREATHE. THOSE THAT CAN, DRAW EVERY BREATH IN FEAR.
THEY KNOW THAT THEY ARE FLAWED SOMEHOW. THE KNOW THAT THEY FEEL INSANE-IN SOME WAY. THEY KNOW, THAT 'DEEP' INSIDE THEMSELVES, THEY ARE ALONE. YET, THEY GO THROUGH THEIR WHOLE LIVES SUFFOCATING UNDER THE MASK OF THEIR FALSE ACCEPTANCE.
I PRAY THAT THE EYES, EARS, AND HEARTS OF THE WORLD BE OPENED. I PRAY FOR A MIRACLE. LET THEM SEE, AND BELIEVE, THAT THE PRISON DOORS OF THEIR FALSE FREEDOM CAN BE UNLOCKED,
AND THAT TRUE FREEDOM THAT THE LITTLE CHILD (FROM "DEEP" WITHIN THEM) HAS PRAYED FOR EACH DAY OF THEIR LIFE, CAN FINALLY BE THEIRS.