August 6, 2010, 1:16 AM

5 Comments

  • ManOnTheMoon
  • Past the ocean, and into the clouds, we sail into the sun...

Poem Commentary

I am not a religious person, but this was left upon my mind as I wondered what really happens when one person "Dies", so I thought I would share it, as I thought it.

August 6, 2010, 1:16 AM

Life lesson learned by all,
At one time or another,
We die.
The curtans close,
The lights go out,
We are dead.
We can not move,
We can not speak,
Nor indicate our presence,
We have died.
Leaving the confinement of our physical prisons,
We still live.
We can hear you,
We can see you,
We watch as you go about your days,
We are still here.
These words change pace,
As we watch you live your lives,
Dirty deeds going unpunished,
Past lives revealed and hidden,
You hear us scream in dismay,
Only whispers in the wind.
Secrets you keep,
Words you twist,
Greed winning every time,
No love to be found but of yourself.
Things that should not have happened,
Stay in your closet,
Filling with skeletons every day,
With the key hidden well.
You can not dispose of them over night,
You live with these torments,
The rest of your life,
Knowing well what you are doing,
Yet chosing to continue so.
Changing your actions do nothing now,
For your cons out weigh your pros,
No one can save you now,
You are a person of your own,
The prison you have won.
These thoughts consume you,
Tearing away,
Ripping apart,
The savage that you are,
The beast you chose to let yourself become,
You let this happen,
Nay,
You choose to let this happen.
You allow this,
So that you can say,
"I did everything I could..."
With out so much as lifting a finger,
You stood by as you destroyed yourself.
Funny things happen when you look in the mirror,
You see your self,
But you do not see yourself,
Instead you see what you have become,
With every lie and every deed leaving their marks,
The ones no other person can see.
Finally time takes its toll,
Maybe it feels sorry for you,
Or it was just "That Time",
Who knows for certain?
But you die,
The curtains close,
And the light goes out.
You can not move,
You can not speak,
Nor indicate your presence,
You are dead.
Leaving the confines of your physical prison,
You accept that you have died.
But you can still hear them,
You can still see them,
As you watch them living,
Going about their days.

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DeeVoelkel commented on August 6, 2010, 1:16 AM

08-11-2010

I think my heart actually skipped a beat half way through! Beautiful, dark, and DAMN, I love it!!

pocketofdreams6 commented on August 6, 2010, 1:16 AM

08-09-2010

I could relate to this one in a sense within life, but then again, aren't we already dead? Good Stuff, keep up the writing!

SEVEN commented on August 6, 2010, 1:16 AM

08-06-2010

totally dark-luted....I kinda like this one eventhough im not a dark poetry kind of guy but sometimes it gets me.....congradulation u caught me off guard....Kudos

cheronld commented on August 6, 2010, 1:16 AM

08-06-2010

I knew I wasn't alone....the eyes watch me and sneek peeks in the shower...lol....joking aside...I loved this dark treat....the fact that it is one of those thoughts we have when we think we are alone..well it only added to the pleasure...but then again...I am a twisted soul....thanks for the dark ride....Cher

Rhymer commented on August 6, 2010, 1:16 AM

08-06-2010

An epic dark write, we all have skeletons in our closets. Things we have done, chose to do. Things done to us, enjoyed the metaphors and was able to relate to your words.

Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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