Backbone

Should I be so foolish
As to hope some day
One will be about me?
Someday she'll remember
That I opened up to her and was vulnerable
For the very first goddamn time.
And maybe she'll acknowledge she was wrong
In hurting me.
Because I never did anything to deserve that.
Even after the fact, I reached out
For her hand
For comfort and answers
(None of which were given)
For friendship (that's all I asked of her)
And she brushed it aside.
And I should be angry, I should be, but
I'm not.
I'm hearbroken, through and through.
Broken in the deepest sense
And she hasn't even attempted to put me at ease.
What more can I possibly do?
How much more patience is required of me?
(Good things come to those who wait.)
My backbone has been one of unimaginable difficulty in keeping it upright.
In suppressing everything I wanted to scream and shout
(Does that make me weak in your eyes?)
To give her a chance to come of her own accord
The way I thought she would
(Since what she showed me of herself was
Nothing but gentle, kind, honest, humble, sincere...)
But all I get is the slap in the face
Of her obviously dismissing
What I was worth to her in times passed
And moving on to someone
Without a second thought.
I hope she loves whomever it is.
(Actually loves them.)
Because I don't wish this upon anyone.
I hope she's happy
Knowing I'm miserable.