Before I Knew You

20 Comments

  • JamilahAyanna
  • It's been a 5 year dry spell, but I'm back 😘😘

Poem Commentary

Although this may not be through personal experience, please don't read the title and assume that this is another love poem.....it's not...

Before I Knew You

Gone and flushed out my life not through the simplicity of adoption,
But through another type of passing, this was my only option,
With no financial stability I lost all capability,
To care for you, they stripped you from me through my own admissibility,
How could you know I was your mother, I never even gave you a name,
I stripped my precious "No Name" of life and put myself to shame,
No face do I have, don't look, just turn away,
I feel judged as my face perceived my thoughts in a disarray,
I hear them all talking, screaming, "Murderer, killer!"
I can't bare this type of torture they yell, "Kill her, kill her!"
The voices in my head force my hand a little more by the day,
I took the life of my own and now my heart is starting to decay,
You do the crime you pay the time is usually the story's moral,
But I got out with an easy pass, oh how my thoughts begin to quarrel,
Sickness taking hold of me, but this is different from before,
Because this sickness isn't caused from the beautiful soul I once bore,
Once more, I live a life that feels like a living hell,
Can't you tell by my outward expression all the inner pain I dwell,
Of course I have times when I sit up all night and cry,
Maybe it's because I feel a part of me within has died,
Even though the sad reality is that a part of me was killed,
So maybe I shed tears at the thought that my own blood was spilled,
Cold chill going through the inner course of my vein,
Slowly but surely it starts to enter the course of my brain,
FREEZE! And it coerces me to deliberate,
Stuck between tears and silence I now am left here to hesitate,
I made my decision before I even knew I cared,
Paranoid, my thoughts are overruled and now they've got me ensnared,
Not ready to be responsible I had no clue what to do,
So with remorse I sent you to your demise before I knew you.

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Tyme commented on Before I Knew You

04-18-2011

This is heart wrenching. I saw your earlier comment that you wanted to be a voice. But if you did this too and went through this pain my heart goes out to you. i also want to give encourage ment to you. God blesses you with a little life to nurture and raise up into a person who loves Him. Even though He too is heart broken by the decision, he's got thelittle babied and is teaching them. They will be there to welcome you as 'Momma" when you transition. You'll get to know them and love them too. I believe this because the bible says that when we "die" we actually enter the Lord's presence. Since all life returns to Him, they are there waiting for you too. Take comfort my sista.

JamilahAyanna

04/18/2011

I thank u very much 4 all ur many words of encouragement and thankfully enuff dis is not a personal experience. I do wanna be a voice 4 those who cnt speak 4 themselves, God bless and take care....

FilthMcNasty commented on Before I Knew You

01-17-2011

Wow. So much emotion behind those words of despair and sadness. U painted this picture from ur soul with the bristles of ur heart. This is deep. Kudos on the awesomeness here.

JamilahAyanna

03/30/2011

Thanx I really appreciate ur kind words my friend....

BrokenAngel210 commented on Before I Knew You

05-27-2010

this is a 10 for me. amazing writer. my heart cried while reading this. it's a touchy subject, to be able to get it out and write about it leaves one amazing writer who has a story to tell.

JamilahAyanna

07/19/2010

I juz believe thre are alot of females who have been thru this and I decided I would love to be the voice foe them because sumtymez it's juz to heart-wrenching to tell ur own tail.....

BrokenAngel210

07/20/2010

do ur thing girl!

cheronld commented on Before I Knew You

05-26-2010

This more than just cuts to the core....how many face this decision on a course what else am I to do.....A personal tale that depicts the emotions and regret of such life altering decision....This is a 10 for more than just its message...but also for shedding a light inside the mind behind the hand that binds....GREAT POEM...

JamilahAyanna

07/19/2010

Thank u I really appreciate ur thoughts and opinions...

MalikPeterson commented on Before I Knew You

05-07-2010

I finally made it lol...I am fully operational now after the upgrade so there you have it. Now to your piece. I know that so many people go through this...partially because they are not responsible before they are in a position in which they are forced to be responsible. After the deed is done...then the quick fix comes into play. Running away from the results of the things we have done...is part of the reason we are in the situation we are in today. I like how you conveyed this message...the rhyme and flow of it all went so well as you breezed along through this piece. I give you the kudos...you put them away someplace special :)

JamilahAyanna

05/07/2010

Yaaay I been waitin 2 hear 4rm u lol. But I appreciate da many kudos u give me and dnt wry I'll tuck em away in a safe place ;). Thanx 4 stoppin by sweetheart, alwayz appreciate u.....

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

JamilahAyanna’s Poems (14)

Title Comments
Title Comments
A Stroke of Perfection 0
Before I Knew You 20
A Love Unseen 14
~Miss..Fortun
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11
Foreplay 32
Unity 19
Love's Last Breath 12
Love Cycle 9
Ecstasy 10
Forever Trapped 8
One Night Only 12
Take Me 7
Yours Truly 3
Bullet Hole 5