Behind the skies

11 Comments

  • LoveDeeply
  • Sitting at mcdonalds waiting for 2:30 to hurry up and get here. Getting some more ink!

Behind the skies

The rain hitting the window.
The thunder makes it rattle.
I believe in the high power behind the skies.
The Lightening crashes, and the crickets are quiet.
I believe in the higher power behind the skies.

The rain stops and the clouds move away.
The moon peeks out.
I believe in the higher power behind the skies.
The stars twinkle and sparkle and the crickets chirp
I believe in a higher power behind the skies.

The higher power I believe in is not many gods, but One.
The God of Gods.
I believed when I was a kid in a higher power behind the skies.
As an adult, I still believe in a higher power behind the skies.

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PoetWithCancer commented on Behind the skies

10-17-2010

Dear LoveDeeply, // Your poem affected me so deeply on an emotional level, that I neglected to express fully my appreciation of its technical excellence. I'll do that now. // Your use of repetition with the line "I believe in a higher power behind the skies" is one of Biblical beauty. Made even more so, because it is in the context of so many other well-chosen words. The double repeition at the end cinches the poem; it feels perfect and right that tthis shoulf be where the poem ends. Not the slightest possibility of feeling an inappropriate abruptness. // The various paints of sight and sound available in the poet's pallette of language were selected and placed well. The poem left me with many beautiful images, and pleasureful resonationg sounds. // You know, a person can't just say or write the word "crickets" and automatically make you hear chirping; or "rain" and make you see and hear rain-drops; or "the moon" and give someone a beautiful image of dark-circled light. But well written poetry can do it all. A framework of well-written language can include such words and empowr them to give the gift of beauty. You have given such gifts to me in this poem. // Thoughtful, seemingly simple--but really as complex as the heart itself, becaause it is rich with many meanings--musical--and beautified with image-making and sound-effectiing words--this is a great poem. // I have to say this at least one more time: I love it. // --Michael LP, Mr. Poet

PoetWithCancer commented on Behind the skies

10-17-2010

Dear LoveDeeply, // A poem is made of music, imagery, meaning, and emotion, expressed in beauty--wonderful beauty, and sometimes terrible beauty--all evoked by words, That is my own modified definition, by which I try to guide my pen. (Or keyboard, as the case sometimes is.) // Your poem here lives up to my highest standards. // Not only is this poem emotionally moving, and full of many meanings. Technically, that is to say, artistically, this poem is also one of high merit. Your imagery and sound effects lull me into the reality of your state of mind as you felt and wrote the poem. I felt your love of life, your appreciation for it. I also felt your faith. // My own faith is very small now, but my love and hope are great. My faith has shrunk to a small measure, by much thinking about all the suffering in the world, form its start to now. My own suffering makes me feel so much compassion for the suffering of my fellow and sister people, and also for the animals, with whom we have kinship regardless of which system one believes--whether life evolved in the most amazing miracle conceivable, one without God; or if, as my heart feels and my mind seems to see, life is here by the creative intelligence of divine power--either way, we have kinship with them, and we should care about their feelings and lives (no, I'm not a vegetarian; but I do believe that food animals should be treated well and allowed lives of happiness, and not be brutally mistreated as happens so much today). // Well, that's far afield from the subject of poetry. And far afield from the subject of this poem. So, back to discussing this poem: your poetry here lives up to my own personal highest standards. It is definitely going into my favorites, and will be read over and over again, in my remaining time. I take it as a gift of love, from your heart to the world. Thank you.

PoetWithCancer commented on Behind the skies

10-17-2010

Dear precious young life: LoveDeeply--a name you prove worthy of with this poem.-- // One of my favorite poets is Gerard Manley Hopkins. He wrote poems in praise of God's creation: all the beauty of sight and sound that we may love and treasure--we may love and treasure such things of life, because we are the greatest miracles of life, capable of doing so. :You have that same power that Hopkins has--to bring me, for a time, back into that same feeling of happy unshaken faith that once suffused me, and seemed inseperable from my life-loving heart. It takes someone special to do something like that. Like Hopkins, you are a great poet.

PoetWithCancer commented on Behind the skies

10-17-2010

Dear LoveDeeply, // I rated this poem the 10 that it deserves. I was very surprised to see when the averaged ratings appeared that your total score now is only 9.8. I cannot imagine how anyone who loves poetry and life could have rated this jewel of poetry, expressing such deep caring thought so beautifully, less than 10. But there is an old saying, that there is no accounting for taste. // I recall one guy who coiuldn't praise a poem I wrote enough, and even said that I was a Wordsworth incarnated! After all that, he rated me a 9. So there is no accounitng, sometimes, for ratings, either. // But do not doubt, precious young life, that you wrote here a poem that is a total 10, period. // Bye now. --Michael LP, Mr. Poet

LoveDeeply

10/18/2010

You are very kind Mr. Michael. I too know how it feels to have cancer. I just want to make a difference in the world, whether it be in poetry or photography or in the kindness of a smile. Thank you! I hope we can become good friends :)

PoetWithCancer commented on Behind the skies

10-17-2010

Dear LoveDeepy, // You have requested me to be your friend. Your name alone is enough for me, to know you are worthy of my friendsship. I hope that you will find me worthy of yours. // Your poem hear moved me to tears. I too believe in that power behind the skies. But I cannot understand why I am suffering so. My savings are almost gone, and I will not be able to keep medical coverage. Without that, the years that even the cancer would have left me to live, will be taken away, because I won't have any of the treatments that could prolong my life. // Rygar said he was glad this was not a depressing poem, about death and darkness, and then said his are like that. But he writes well, and is worth reading. // Keep listening to the crickets with love, and hearing the rain with appreciation. I do not understand why God is letting me suffer so much, and I have troubled, even tortured, with doubts and questions and fears. But I still feel grateful to God for all the good life that I once had. This poem of yours really speaks to me, and I love it. Thank you. --Michael LP, Mr. Poet

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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