I blink my eyes hard not really sure if this is real. I feel in my heart that i'm living in a blank mind bliss. I feel almost as though my mind is blank and my thoughts are suspended in mid air. My soul is fighting for answers. It's almost as though I'm confused inside but I know how I feel and want I want, I know my thoughts. Although now I am empty to my words and angry for  not being able to express them. As if my words make no difference because of who I am. I'm all closed up inside and changing fropm all that's inside. I'm having no idea how to express myself, Blackflag. Isn't there just someone who will br willing to listen, to reach deep down inside of me to release what's there. The more I pull back, the more I change and once again i second guess myself, Blackflag. I feel insecure and battle my emotiions, my thoughts all do to all these changes. I'm really trying, am I really living with all of this or am i just losing this battle because  of all this, so much more is real. I'm almost ready to give up. 

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lithiumblack commented on Blackflag


Giving up is a coward's first choice, and you're no coward. Think back on what you've been through and what you've accomplished in the process. Cowards don't step and raise special needs children. Coward's don't battle their addictions, and cowards don't take the initiative to vent their emotional frustrations into creative outlets. Don't give up, Alicia. You're no coward.



Thank you so much. This poem was written back in 1999? I'd have to check the book. I just picked one and put it up.. This was an old life and an old person. I'm strong and god hasn't brought me this fair to drop me on my butt now :-) Thanks

Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

ThatGurl’s Poems (27)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Tunnel Wind 0
Tunnel Wind 0
Tidal wave 0
Suffocating 1
Seperate me 2
Mirror 1
Inhale... 1
Goodnight 3
Are you kidding me??? 0
Changes 0
Searching 2
Who am I??? 1
Sleep 2
Blackflag 1
Silence that grows 5
Smile 3
So genuine, So innocent, So pure 2
Screaming 1
Unborn Child 0
I Gave You 2
Stare into the Shadows 2
All those unskopen words 1
I've missed it... 0
Dark Days 1
Lonely Tear 3
I Dream... 2
Catching my breathe 1