Body Image 2 Canvas
How can I put in to words what made my body what it’s become.
Pain, punished since birth, I’ve become numb.
Since my first breath the artist has begun his work of art
Dialysis, days old, his first work of art, there is where he did start.
Through the year’s my body has lost some of its luster.
Pushing on through it, courage, I’ve had to mustard.
For now you ask me to look at myself, putting in to words what I see,
A monster, look away, to you I plea.
My mind focused on the negatives hoping for lightness
Always dark, my mind, never any brightness.
I’ve had thoughts of ending the masquerade I call life
Always by my side, as a way out, my rustic, brittle knife
Eye’s as dark as the nights skies
Some night’s tears flow, reminiscing on life and its lies
Tears of pain, happiness, ever flowing; day by day
I can only see a mirrored image of my father, by what other’s say
My mouth bloodied, dried, and yearning for a drink
Is this death I’m describing, what do you think?
Neck is as if I was cut up by Frankenstein himself
My thyroid gland gone, in a glass, sitting on some shelf
Arms short, hairy, due to medications
No muscle, ripped my emasculation
Left arm, tracks from past needled injections
Right arm compared to the left, perfection
Hands, skinny, shaking, tremors, have held my son
Smoking, addiction, away I try to run
Yet, my hands tarnished yellow, begin to shake
Doors, barriers, my fists they break.
My abdomen, central attention of the doctor’s work
All these scars he left upon me, what a jerk.
A railroad slices from my groin to my chest
Scar’s that tell a story, those are the best
The track tells of a long somber story I constantly ride
Scar tissue, hopes, dreams, now buried deep inside
Never an end to this work of art until my day in death
Sadly, I look forward to my last day and my last breath
I say this because these legs have walked a journey through hell
Muscle torn, flesh decayed, I push on even if I fell
A body well weathered from medical issues
If you knew the whole story, tears fall, needing tissues
My feet calciused and burned from where I’ve walked
Healthy my goal, I constantly stalk
Always out of my withering grasp
Life on earth, promised, never to last
So as I live my life walking as this beast
Prescription drugs my daily feast.
Now do you see the image deep within
Where I go, what I see, where I’ve been?