I don't know why, but Brian's upcoming birthday--the 15th of September--
Makes me recall all the New Year's Eves we spent together,
As well as his birthday and mine.
Perhaps it is because the New Year is both our birthdays--
In fact, it's everybody's birthday--
A time when every one of us marks another year's passing by--
And cherishes the hope of enjoying a whole new happy new year--
Everybody's birthday.  And the candles are not candles on a cake,
But Roman candles, and other fireworks.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was in the first year that we met that Brian and I celebrated our first New Year.
On New Year's day, we ate at Heidelberg Cafe, a German cuisine feast.
Brian was so happy then.  When he saw a map of Germany on the wall--
A big map, showing among other places the area where he was stationed in the Army--
He got all excited.  He jumped up and pointed it out to me, and then bubbled over
With stories about his Army years.  Then we returned to the table, and finished our good meal.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
On our fifth New Year's Eve, we were far outside the city,
In an out-of-the-way karaoke bar.  Brian and I both singing in our turns.
We went outside to watch the fireworks, a light-show seeming as far as a star.
Ten minutes of far-off bursts of luminescence,
Bright jewels deep-set in the night. 
Then back inside, within the walls that seem to protect us.
I recall seeing him sitting in a big easy chair they had, along with couches,
With his big happy smile, showing all his perfect white teeth. 
His smile could be seen to be big and wide even from the side.
He was in the company of several friends, some ladies and guys we knew.
By then, he had become very popular in karaoke circles, and picked songs he sang well.
Better than anyone.
- - - - - - -
Our last New Year's Eve was last year.  We both welcomed 2011 in.
At 11:30 PM, we were in the car, heading for a karaoke place.
Suddenly, on a whim, I said: "Brian, turn the car around.
Let's see how far down toward the fireworks we can go,
And see what we see."
We went farther than we thought we could, and got to see a spectacular show.
Brian kept ooing and awwing.  There were half a dozen fireworks,
Simultaneously, at every given moment; almost too much to see at once.
Brian excitedly pointed out to me the ones he found most beautiful to see.
I think it was the greatest fireworks display either of us had seen.
What a happy bright smile Brian had when the fireworks were over,
And he looked at me with shining eyes full of excitement and said:
"We have to do this next year, Michael.  This was so great!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm so glad I got that inspiration to turn; otherwise, it would have been too late.
Because of a cruel ER doctor's terrible abuse of Brian, on January 18th, he was dead.
Too young,
As even in the oldest human death, it is too young--
But Brian was way too young--and now, upcoming is his birthday.
The first of his birthdays that he will not be here to see.
I will go to the first karaoke place where he shed his shyness and sang,
And I will speak a little tribute to Brian, and sing happy birthday to him.
I will be sad he is not here, but glad he lived his last years happy and having fun.
And if I make it another four months, then I will have a sad New Year's for me.
Brian's smile, and all his happiness--cut so short, and lost now forever--
Snuffed, at the last, by a doctor who kept him from eating and drinking for nine days--
Will, for all my remaining days, be haunting me.

==============================
Written by Michael LP, aka MLP
aka PoetWithCancer, aka PWC, aka (thanks to Luna Marie) Mr. Poet
Written on Wednesday, September 14, 2011  10:09 PM PDT
71 degrees F.  Humidity: 64%   Forecast: overcast
Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael LP.  All rights reserved
(I still copyright my writings, for my estate)