Brian's Birthday and New Year's Eve

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Brian's Birthday and New Year's Eve


I don't know why, but Brian's upcoming birthday--the 15th of September--
Makes me recall all the New Year's Eves we spent together,
As well as his birthday and mine.
Perhaps it is because the New Year is both our birthdays--
In fact, it's everybody's birthday--
A time when every one of us marks another year's passing by--
And cherishes the hope of enjoying a whole new happy new year--
Everybody's birthday.  And the candles are not candles on a cake,
But Roman candles, and other fireworks.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was in the first year that we met that Brian and I celebrated our first New Year.
On New Year's day, we ate at Heidelberg Cafe, a German cuisine feast.
Brian was so happy then.  When he saw a map of Germany on the wall--
A big map, showing among other places the area where he was stationed in the Army--
He got all excited.  He jumped up and pointed it out to me, and then bubbled over
With stories about his Army years.  Then we returned to the table, and finished our good meal.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
On our fifth New Year's Eve, we were far outside the city,
In an out-of-the-way karaoke bar.  Brian and I both singing in our turns.
We went outside to watch the fireworks, a light-show seeming as far as a star.
Ten minutes of far-off bursts of luminescence,
Bright jewels deep-set in the night. 
Then back inside, within the walls that seem to protect us.
I recall seeing him sitting in a big easy chair they had, along with couches,
With his big happy smile, showing all his perfect white teeth. 
His smile could be seen to be big and wide even from the side.
He was in the company of several friends, some ladies and guys we knew.
By then, he had become very popular in karaoke circles, and picked songs he sang well.
Better than anyone.
- - - - - - -
Our last New Year's Eve was last year.  We both welcomed 2011 in.
At 11:30 PM, we were in the car, heading for a karaoke place.
Suddenly, on a whim, I said: "Brian, turn the car around.
Let's see how far down toward the fireworks we can go,
And see what we see."
We went farther than we thought we could, and got to see a spectacular show.
Brian kept ooing and awwing.  There were half a dozen fireworks,
Simultaneously, at every given moment; almost too much to see at once.
Brian excitedly pointed out to me the ones he found most beautiful to see.
I think it was the greatest fireworks display either of us had seen.
What a happy bright smile Brian had when the fireworks were over,
And he looked at me with shining eyes full of excitement and said:
"We have to do this next year, Michael.  This was so great!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm so glad I got that inspiration to turn; otherwise, it would have been too late.
Because of a cruel ER doctor's terrible abuse of Brian, on January 18th, he was dead.
Too young,
As even in the oldest human death, it is too young--
But Brian was way too young--and now, upcoming is his birthday.
The first of his birthdays that he will not be here to see.
I will go to the first karaoke place where he shed his shyness and sang,
And I will speak a little tribute to Brian, and sing happy birthday to him.
I will be sad he is not here, but glad he lived his last years happy and having fun.
And if I make it another four months, then I will have a sad New Year's for me.
Brian's smile, and all his happiness--cut so short, and lost now forever--
Snuffed, at the last, by a doctor who kept him from eating and drinking for nine days--
Will, for all my remaining days, be haunting me.


==============================
Written by Michael LP, aka MLP
aka PoetWithCancer, aka PWC, aka (thanks to Luna Marie) Mr. Poet
Written on Wednesday, September 14, 2011  10:09 PM PDT
71 degrees F.  Humidity: 64%   Forecast: overcast
Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael LP.  All rights reserved
(I still copyright my writings, for my estate)

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

PoetWithCancer’s Poems (224)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Happy Winter Solstice 1
Seasonal Ring 1
My Thanksgiving 0
God's Word 1
Under the Date Tree 1
A Few More Times 1
Divine and Diabolical World 0
Summer-Brief 2
Seasonal Ring 0
Shakespeare's Birthday and Death 0
Special Brian 0
I Remember Brian 0
Light of Life 0
Pain Has Defeated Me Today 1
The Old, Old Words 0
Home Is Where the Heart Is 0
A Sad Contemplative Christmas Today 0
Moments of Memory; In Memory of Moments 0
Sun and Rain, Joy and Pain: I Miss My Friend Brian 0
Dehumanized and Clinicized--N
OT
1
Not Full 0
Love, Loss, and Lennon 0
Dying Dream 0
Brian's Pure Love for His Lady 0
Two Loved Ladies Undergoing Surgery Now 0
The Masks Fall Off at Midnight 1
Prime of Life 1
Low Energy and Less Time: And Too Many Things to Do 1
Happy Veterans Day, Brian 0
Happy Veterans Day, Brian 0
Thanksgiving 0
Autumn of Year; Autumn of Life 0
Brian's Birthday and New Year's Eve 0
Under a Constant Star (9/11) 0
Deep Time 0
Is There Anything Out There 2
Classics in the Closet 0
Nobody 0
Feeling the Wind 0
The Wild Doe and the Hunter 0
Happy Birthday, Brian 0
The End of the World: Saturday, May 21, 2011, 6 pm PDT 1
Brian's Special Smile 0
Broken Birth 0
Missing Brian 0
Focus: Today, Happy 0
I Love You, Brian 0
The Ways and the Words of You 1
Stone Cry 0
Amore Immortale 0
Reality and Unreality 1
Lyrical Life 1
Easter 0
Shakespeare's Birthday 0
Friends During Need 1
Death--A Play--or the Final Act 0
Moods 0
I Was Worried About You 0
Song of Life 2
Me 1
Oh Mother of My Life, My Mind, My Heart--Happy Birthday (Sunday, April 3, 2011) 0
Your Money or Your Life 1
Poesis 0
A Last Look at the Moon 0
Tears for Brian: My Tears Spring Suddenly 0
Seventeen in the Past 1
Clusters 1
Suffering and Dying Where Love Is Least 1
Looking at People in a Restaurant, Talking to Brian 1
Brian Cannot Come Back to Me 3
Seven for Heaven: Human Haiku/Senryu, On Two Straight Guys Who Loved Each Other 3
Five Human Haiku (Senryu): Faithful to the Perfect Form 0
The Scream 3
Life Is 8
Following My Friend 3
Small Moments (Written by Patricia, for Brian) 1
For Precious Michael (Written by Patricia, for me) 4
Dream of Life, Dream of Friendship, Dream of Love 4
The Power to Create 4
A Single Fortune Cookie 6
The Meaning of Life 2
Dreamless 3
Prayers 3
Lost Love 2
I Thank My Mother for My Birthday and for Her Wonderful Mother Love 3
Lennon Lost His Life: And Now, So Has Teena Marie 2
All the Way with Part Way 2
Loving, Living, and Dying 6
Dreaming and Seeming 3
Poem Prayer 2
Science, Poetry, Philosophy, and More 2
Super A, Abuelita1--Th
ank You for Your Support, Caring Love, and Understanding
2
Wonderful Connie 1
Someday-Dying 2
Between Yes and No 3
Love of Life 1
Zappa the Magnificent 1
In the Midst of Life 2
Only One Death 1
Real Illusion 1
The Unknown 1
My Apparently Known Possible Fates in This World 1
No More Me 2
Someone 2
Leaving Life 1
Precious Jade 2
Fear and Grief and Going: Unguilty of the Grave 1
Using and Losing Time 1
Loveless Life 2
Good Life, Good Grief 1
Dreamless 1
Ontology versus Oncology 1
Now Time 2
No Present, No Future: All Past 3
Hippocratic Hell 1
First Light 2
Almost At the Limit [--A Sonnet] 1
Death-Trap 0
Broken 1
Birthday Termination 1
Moments 1
First and Last Cry 1
Love 2
Final Fragility 1
End of the World 1
Tripping 1
Seasonal Ring 1
Gifts that Go and Still Stay 1
Sidney Says: Advice to Poets and All Writers 3
Enthusiasm: God Within 3
Send Me Your Good Will, or Pray For Me--Please 1
Feeling Each Other's Pain 1
Snow Man for a Low Man 0
Explanation of My Poem "As If the Last" 2
New Year, No Love 2
Poetic Form 0
Guilty Pleasures: Not Guilty 2
About Me 1
Live, Laugh, and Love 4
Nothing Special 2
Why a Writer Writes 2
To Sarah Y and Her Beloved Little Boy Who Cries Out: Again! 1
I and You: Unique and the Same 1
Where's the Compasssion in Our Health Care System? 0
Lonely Girl, I'm Feeling the Way You're Feeling: But We Can Both Make It Through 3
Health-Care Reform and Hell on Earth 3
Psyche 3
My Bucket List (For Now) 4
My Most SCARED Moments 2
Children of the Stars 2
Passing Life's Test 1
Why More Now? 1
Remembering My Grandma on Thanksgiving Eve 3
Another Thursday, Another Hammer 4
Thursday's Hammer 1
New Birthday 2
Let Love of Life Light Up the Psyche of Fawn 1
To Angel Eyes: The Wonders of Your Life 1
Regarding the Lack of Fall in Texas 2
Light for the Fight 2
All That I Have 3
Shine 2
As If the Last 2
Here Now 1
All in Time 2
The Exile 2
Incurable and Terminal 4
Tripping 2
One More Tomorrow 1
My Dash 4
One of Two Is Stronger 1
No More Romeo; No More Juliet 1
Friendship and Life 1
Snow and Life 3
Live Spelled Backwards 1
Sarah Y 2
To Fly 2
My Cry 1
Moment of Madness 2
Fall From a Great Height 1
A Memory 1
Less Life; No Loving 2
A Loser, True 2
Time Stop 1
Final Sleep 1
Entre Enfer 1
Flying Life 1
One Would Have Been Enough to Make Life Worth Living 5
Once 3
The Haiku Form 2
Bridge to a Comet--Your Visits and Comments to Me 4
Get Well Soon, Luna Marie 2
Winging It (a human haiku, or senryu) 3
Light Locomotive 2
Skite, Where Were You Today? Where Are You Tonight? 2
Angel's Wings, Angel's Voice 4
Shy, but Not Too Shy 2
High Coo 4
From Night to Night 3
Life's Journey's End--Cut Short by Cancer 4
Love, Light, Life, and Night 2
Fear and Courage 1
Death in Life 3
Unknown Final Fate 3
To Right a Poem 4
Crab-Like Concealed 4
Soon 2
All in the Mind 3
Ebony Shine 3
On My Nephew Naming His First-Born Son After Me 5
Love, Loss, and Lennon 3
Eqinox 4
Feeling My Heart 5
The Best Person I Ever Knew: My Best Friend--Brian 2
In Memoriam, George Difficult 3
Lovers 7
Art 5
Things to Do 4
Plane on Fire 3
Ameliorator 5
Thanksgiving 7
Worlds of Light 24
Failure's Fortress 13
Song of Life (Original Version) 13