C2H5OH

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C2H5OH

I feel hollow and numb. 
I have yet to figure out why I'm depressed today. 
All I want is a damn drink to help me overcome.
I wish I had vodka to make the hollow go away.
The hollow of alcohol is smoother,
Than the hollow of my heart. 
Wine nearly killed me 253 days ago.
And tonight she almost won again.
Sober was easy until I felt this goddamn low.
Greiving the same shit that had me in such pain.
That binge almost did me in for good.
Four months of shoving down feelings.
Not addressing how they treated us so crude. 
I never processed the emotions still feeling. 
Brandy and booze . . . 
They  helped me get by
With essential worker blues
And every single life plan now gone awry. 
No social time;
Only doctors and work.
Putting my safety on the line
Physically and by ignoring my hurt.
No children ever for us.
That's a hard to swallow pill.
I fought only for it to bust. 
My only goal in life unfufill'
I thought I had grieved you months ago...
But here you come stopping by again today.
But this trauma is never ending woe
For the reminders of children happen every which way.
Every commercial,
 Every friend,
Each family reunion, 
Will my heart ever mend?
What are the married supposed to do
If even an adoption attempt fell through? 
Drink, drink, drink,
 and drink some more.
Drown the hollow;
Until my heart's not sore. 
But it's 2/3 of the year already
I have resisted the call. 
I will continue to grieve;
This time without alcohol. 
I feel hollow and numb. 
I have yet to figure out why I'm depressed today. 
All I want is a damn drink to help me overcome.
I wish I had vodka to make the hollow go away.
 .
The hollow of alcohol is smoother,
Than the hollow of my heart. 
 .
Wine nearly killed me 253 days ago.
And tonight she almost won again.
Sober was easy until I felt this goddamn low.
Greiving the same shit that had me in such pain.
 .
That binge almost did me in for good.
Four months of shoving down feelings.
Not addressing how they treated us so crude. 
I never processed the emotions still feeling. 
 .
Brandy and booze . . . 
They  helped me get by
With essential worker blues
And every single life plan now gone awry. 
.
No social time;
Only doctors and work.
Putting my safety on the line
Physically and by ignoring my hurt.
 .
No children ever for us.
That's a hard to swallow pill.
I fought only for it to bust.
My only goal in life unfufill'
 .
I thought I had grieved you months ago...
But here you come stopping by again today.
But this trauma is never ending woe
For the reminders of children happen every which way.
 .
Every commercial,
 Every friend,
Each family reunion, 
Will my heart ever mend?
 .
What are the married supposed to do
If even an adoption attempt fell through? 
 .
Drink, drink, drink,
And drink some more.
Drown the hollow;
Until my heart's not sore. 
 .
But it's 2/3 of the year already
I have resisted the call. 
I will continue to grieve;
This time without alcohol. 

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The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

jj1562’s Poems (156)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Turing Test 0
Irony 0
To Russia with Love 0
Six Word Story XIII 0
Six Word Story XII 0
C2H5OH 0
The Second Year of the Circus 0
A Call to Choice 0
COVID Acrostic 0
New Maundy (song) 2
Six Word Story XI 0
For a Child Who Didn't Die 0
Where Have You All Gone 1
Found Facadé 0
Six word story X 0
An Ode to Dairy 1
Six Word Story IX 1
My Brother After the War 2
Always a Zero 1
Being True to True Love 1
Dues Excelsior! 0
Opening Up 0
A Sonnet for My Socks 0
For the Love of Spite 0
La Plagua (song) 0
Six Word Story VIII 0
Deus Ex Machina 0
Dear Little One 0
2020 in Hindsight 0
Dear Momma 0
Expecting 0
My Dude 0
Theodore Bearsley 0
She Wanted Me To 1
Six Word Story VII 0
3am Again 0
Six Word Story VI 0
Trigeminal Neuralgia 1
Those Three Little Words 0
I Know Why Great Minds Kill Themselves 2
Six Word Story V 1
Six Word Story IV 0
Six Word Story III 0
Six Word Story II 0
Child Soldier 1
Six Word Story I 0
The Sub 0
In a World... 0
Patience in Pleasure 0
Found Carapace 0
Held 0
Found and Faded 0
Found and Gone 0
Flashback Acrostic 0
Anxiety Acrostic 0
The Chest 1
No Longer All of Me 1
A Trip to Africa Without Leaving America 0
Wings of Blue 2
Conflict of Intrest 4
How Poetry has Failed and Been Failed (a two page essay) 4
Taste the Rainbow 0
I'm Getting Nothing from Daddy 2
Compassion and Vanity 1
The Twelve Day of Finals Week 1
Here We Go Again 3
Shade of Sorrows 1
The Rose 2
Who's at Fault? 3
Poets Please Answer This Poll 2
For the Hometown Heroes 1
The Sweetest Addictions 2
The Seven Paths to Hell 1
The Best Jealosy 1
Extended Circles and Wolves (part 4) 1
The Basilisk 2
Linger 1
Ode to Ol' Christine 2
Seriously 1
Is This What Love Is? 3
Well Perfect 1
A Piece of Crap That Fell Out of My Brain 2
I Learned Something New Today... 1
Real 4
Just Listening In 1
Peace, War, and Common Sense 2
The Forgotten Man 0
Things aren't as They Should Be 2
Three Wheelin' 2
Sleeping in Space 1
Democracy's Dead (song) 2
For Crying OUT! Loud 1
Countdown to US of DOOM! 1
The Point of a Poet 5
DEMOCRACY acrustic 1
Single Acrostic 1
Desparation 1
untitled 3rd try posting 1
Untitled 0
Uninvited Space 2
I Now Know Why! 1
Trapped 3
Extended Circles and Wolves (Chapter 3) 2
Extended Circle and Wolves (Chapter 2) 0
Exstended Circle and Wolves (Intro, Chapter1) 1
Tribute to Charlie, Braden and Susan Powell 1
Living Breathing Artwork 1
Kansas 1
Some late December Eve 0
Look It 3
Another Year 2
Michael Moore 4
Far Away 2
More 2
Help! 2
Generation Gap 1
Who am I? 1
The Voice of Nations and Generations 1
Why? 1
Shadow Lady 2
Mr Perfect 4
Frozen in Time 6
No Name (a love poem) 11
Circles and Wolves (a short story) 2
Not Yet Spoken but Expressed 5
Halloween 5
Author's Plague 2
Boy Stealer Pro 2
The Tragic Tale of Jordan Craig 6
You Know It Should Be When . . . 4
The Voice Inside my Head 7
the joke only poets get (not in poetic form just a joke) 6
What If . . . ? 5
Love Like Lightning 3
"Maybe?" He Says 3
What to do? 4
On the Verge of Spring 2
Unreturned Love 3
Love for the Blackened Heart 2
Politics Smolitics 3
As I Waited as a Tree 3
The Earth's a Beautiful Place 2
The Man behind the Mask 2
Army Life 6
mutual thing 6
If Only You Knew 3
Waste of Space READERS DESCRETION IS ADVISED 9
Music 5
Forest Sympany 4
Books 2
The Love Bug 4
The Earth's a Beautiful Place 5
Secret Addmirers 2
Our Country's Heroes 2
What Does 'I Love You' mean? 3
Finaly Free 4