Caught in Folly (Lost in her Eyes)

3 Comments

Caught in Folly (Lost in her Eyes)

Hollander Sonnet: 13 lines of 13 syllables each.


I was like an astronaut gazing toward the earth.
I was in awe at the magnificence before me ,
So I tried to walk in the direction of the sea;
(The brilliant green would surely give my life some mirth)
I was unsuccessful because I lacked gravity.
Akin to Jupiter’s they were parted by a ring.
The beautiful land seemed one of infinite spring,
In contrast to my place where winter reigned continually:
Fireflies don’t sparkle, bluebirds, nightingales never sing.
She called my name; I was lost in the universe’s eyes
That like magician’s watch, with time had me hypnotized.
Coming closer I estimated what she might bring:
When she said, “Fool, leave me be!” I thought her words were lies.

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Springsize commented on Caught in Folly (Lost in her Eyes)

05-04-2010

Hi leslieAlexis... In reading your 8th Poem assignment I immediately note the discrepancy of line count, and specifically, lines 1, 4 have 12 syllables, lines 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 have 13 syllables, line 8 has 15 syllables... so the poem could be more smooth with a perfect count. The message is interesting. I really like the fantasy of being on another planet where it's winter, desolate and looking across Jupiter's rings to where "she" is...but I really don't know what to make of her comment restricting your gaze even?, "fool, leave me be" is pretty rough speech... to wit you feel are lies from her... so you leave Reader very curious here...

simoneaugustus commented on Caught in Folly (Lost in her Eyes)

05-02-2010

Magical and surreal. I will be saving this to my list of favorites!

WordSlinger commented on Caught in Folly (Lost in her Eyes)

05-02-2010

Awesome poem, no flaws, this here RULES She called my name; I was lost in the universe’s eyes That like magician’s watch, with time had me hypnotized. loved this ty WS

A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

leslieAlexis’s Poems (21)

Title Comments
Title Comments
I am the wind vane (Tuanortsa) 3
I Only Wish to Love You More (Sestina) 2
Just Seventeen (Petrachan sonnet) 3
A Love that Blossomed (Shakespearia
n Sonnet)
3
Hooray for May (Sontoum) 3
Terzenelle 5
Adventure of Love (Villanelle) 4
Keep Your Chains (Terza Rima Sonnet) 4
Floating Rock (Terza Rima) 4
Pretty Birds Flocking 5
The Truth 4
Caught in Folly (Lost in her Eyes) 3
Owl On The Sea (Pantoum) 1
Art 2
Your Love Pours 1
Beyond The Ray 1
Kissed By a Shadow 1
A Kiss 2
The Boys In The Library 1
The Things I Love 1
Why Monkey Does 4