Poem Commentary

Raw and uncensored - hot off the presses!




I visit you in your cave.

It is a lovely cave

But it is still a cave.


I want to be in nature

Where the birds sing the songs I long to hear


I want to wash my face with the wind

And excite every neuron with the icy flow of pure streams


I long to breath clean air untainted by re-circulation

And I hope to feel the mud squish between my toes


I don’t wish to live in a cave

But, alas I do for pay

Do you still want to wallow?


It is a lovely cave

But it is still a cave.


So, take me on a journey

Where the only sounds are silence

And time is forever


Hurry now, time’s a-wastin’

And my senses are dulled daily


Tell me the words I long to hear

And breathe a new life to my heart


Shock my system with renewal

Purge me of my old ways


Show me the obstacles I have constructed

Let me hear the angels sing


Help me escape my cave.



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RKCHOWDARY11 commented on Cave


It is beautiful with sweet metaphors and very meaningful



Thank you for stopping by! : )

blackfootlady commented on Cave


Not Bad,Very different and unique.I liked it.Keep writing-God-Bless



Thank You. Many returns.

Olan01 commented on Cave


I live in a city cave but came from a forest dwelling where nature was my abode. Turkeys, deer, fox, coyotes, bobcats, mink, weasels, ground hogs, owls, eagles, hawks, skinks, snakes, tall oaks and hickories were at my front doors day and night. But then there were those pests; ticks, chiggers and mosquitoes were blood sucking predators who loved my warm blood. It is a wonderful experience but now I am content to visit and take my Deep Woods Off. Nice poem and filled with great meaning. Olan.



Glad you enjoyed!

Maleficent commented on Cave


wow! that hit home on multiple levels... I know a giant & wallower who should read this... straight to fav's... write on! ;)



Thanks for taking the time to read and comment - I hope it helps!

ApaqRasgirl commented on Cave


wonderful write dear, so many of us are trapped in our own little caves afraid to reach out. great read with very nice flow.....thanks for sharing....love asha



So glad you stopped by to read...Many returns

To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

jeanpnkldyg’s Poems (51)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Life's Pace 1
When Words Fail.... 1
For His Glory....a prose piece. 1
My Place...today 0
Just a thought... 1
I Pray 0
Sufficient Fear 1
Purposed to Love 0
Grace 0
Mother 0
Illegitimate Child 0
Word 0
Facebook Fetish 0
When the Ancients Love... 0
Going Home 0
Heaven is Waiting 2
Never Ending... 1
For J. C. P. (13y) 2
Fly Away 6
This Battle is .... (2) 7
Look Up.. 3
boredom 2
Angels 2
Christmas Musings 6
Letters, Artwork and Inspiration 4
The Vanished 8
What more to say... 6
For the Fall 5
Gratitude 3
Surfer Dude 26
Cave 16
Glorious, Wonderful.... 4
So far, Untitled 4
Love, Leave me alone 6
I saw your face 4
Request for Intercession 3
Until My Dying Day 11
No Glory Here 5
Day Is Done 6
Immersion of Self 4
Returning 4
My Children's Mother 6
Fortunate Circumstance 2
Sentiment for a Daughter 4
Untitled Conversation 4
Alone With God 6
Still Waters 7
The Soldiers Prayer 4
Slip Away From the Darkness 4