Poem Commentary

to err is human, but sins are intentional.


a war waged and forged
angels and demons in the morgue
the angels cry and take my eyes
the demons spit and rip off my penis
        it's their problem now
demons take what's left of my worse thoughts
and the frown from my brow
angels cut me off at the wrists
desiring hands not fists
no violence allowed

my mind was amused by lust
teased yet tortured by my twisted realities
trust and love were the casualties
disguised in everything unjust
i am the captured and the caught
the bruised man choosing to be self taught
my fractured heart falls apart
and lies in pieces on the floor
wild dogs howl awaiting the scraps by the door
my legs are torn open
split like sticks and broken
i can never run away

i've been the script on the bridge
and the "i hate you" notes on the fridge

more angels take my arms
for they cherish the hugs i've held
unprecedented and unparalleled
are not these sins
but in the end
i have still made my bed...in hell


Poem Comments


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KellyRedhead commented on ceremony


I love your depiction of the evil and good that wages war in our souls and your take on that there is a price to pay. I love the structure of your poem with longer sentences...how you've laid out the rythm. Kelly



thank you very much, most appreciated.

Marsink commented on ceremony


What a tortured rant of adrenaline emotion! The graphic narration is so personal and pictoral with an ambling meter dressed in rhyme at well punctuated intervals. (please don't resign you self to hell, I heard there's an infinitely superior place) I enjoy your work: it Crushes the reader! Applause!!!



i realise that i use the word "hell" a lot in my poetry...lol. i am not so resigned to hell, i just have this dark piece inside of me. i do, however, have hope. thank you so much for reading me.



You're entirely welcome, Sir!

Helios commented on ceremony


Powerful as Dante's Inferno... a dark dream filled with horrors of the night. Man have always feared the damnations which waits for their sins, yet they continue on... strange concept. Thank-you for sharing. Helios



thank you , helios ! you know that i am still a fan of your work.

ApaqRasgirl commented on ceremony


I have been there before my friend. A world of darkness creeps in on all of us at times in our lives. Please read 'Just Have Another Smoke' and 'My Dark Abode'.....thanks ever so much love Asha



i will definitely check them out.

ApaqRasgirl commented on ceremony


Wow! This is a powerful write. So filled with emotion that paints a picture torn, grotesque, ripped apart. great write my friend. I enjoyed this all the way to the last word. thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece of writing with us. love Asha



thank you for your time and kind words. it is not always easy to read darker poetry because it often uses ugly parts. however, imagine how it is to write it and relive certain events and bad dreams.

Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

Crush’s Poems (59)

Title Comments
Title Comments
carried off by owls 1
Santa Claus Is Coming Around 1
skin 2
the midnight girl 1
hold 1
here 0
the other 1
flashback 1
violent pretty 1
the people in the attic 1
the ride 1
my nightmares are awake 1
no bugs 6
waiting 3
welcome 5
a fetus in a clear bowling ball 6
crows feet 7
rats 5
the mobster 4
perfect 6
jumper 5
lady godiva 3
malaise 3
pirate 4
flight on time 3
fear of falling 4
unfinished crow ? 5
touch ( aka, am i made of summer ) 8
elephant 5
cancer 8
skyline 5
st. saviour 2
satellites 4
were you waiting for me ? 10
snapshot 5
fists 12
lauren 17
insomnia 18
ceremony 12
mother 14
ash 27
the june bug 15
low 19
thorns 10
paralyzed 9
mr. sparkle 15
dresses 15
glass 13
cemetaries 18
throe 18
if i fell in love 27
pills 22
off black 20
mannequin 22
umbrage 12
sick boy 12
kelly has a big head 21
unfairly fairy 26