Cometment

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    Cometment

    The moon blinked, and missed a comet flash across the velvet fill.
    We did not and watched its solitary mission from atop a hill
    Whilst the heath slept soundly beneath our gaze.
    Without warning, courage hitched upon the back of blue trail blaze
    And taking my chance without a breath:
    I did ask her to marry me.

    Lifetimes soon blink before that comet is seen around these parts-
    Not least before the beating ceases within our own hearts.
    But as flesh does flake, our everlasting love does soar
    Like the comet we watched, as it returns once more
    Following a thousand years without a breath:
     Another does ask his to marry he. 


     

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    tierra7 commented on Cometment

    11-12-2010

    such a lovely and truly inspirin' write of love and romance...much blessings to you and yours...this was a brilliant and most heart touchin' share...big moment.... best memories savored...Blessings!Tierra@}-'-,
    Reply to Comment

    arronpalmer

    11/13/2010

    Tierra, thank you deeply, your kind words mean so much. This one is a little fav of mine, so I'm glad you liked it :)

    KKFay commented on Cometment

    10-23-2010

    Beautifully breath-taking. I've been looking for a poem to read at my family reunion which is also celebrating my brother's one year wedding anniversary and with your permission I would like to read our poem for part of my toast to their love and commitment. I would greatly appreciate it if you allow me to, my brother and his wife will be returning to Wisconsin from Colorado on Wednesday, hopefully you will have an answer for me by then. KKFay
    Reply to Comment

    arronpalmer

    10/28/2010

    I appear to be a day late, but for such an honour, a privilege, I am truly humbled, of course you have my permission. This reception is beyond anything I ever imagined, my eternal thanks. Oh, and congratulate your brother for me!

    ImStillHere commented on Cometment

    10-23-2010

    I really really like this Arron! The imagery is AMAZING! I especially love the way you wrapped it up, [Following a thousand years without a breath: Another does ask his to marry he.] :D AMAAAZING!!! ~Audrey
    Reply to Comment

    arronpalmer

    10/23/2010

    Ah thank you so so much Audrey, I'm so chuffed (British slang for very pleased!) that you picked up on the last line. I like my poetry to contain final 'punchlines' that wrap up the poem either with a shock (such as my haiku 'A Haiku for the Crab'), sadness (such as my comment on spouses dealing with loved ones at war in 'Two Wars Rage') or a happy one, such as the one here. So thank you so very much!

    ginga commented on Cometment

    10-20-2010

    Arron, This is chuck full of imagery. I love that you titled this Cometment. It is apropos along with the wonderful proposal and that romantic comet...Wow! It can't get much beter. ginga
    Reply to Comment

    arronpalmer

    10/21/2010

    Thank you, imagery is a fave of mine. And yep, I was pleased with this little piece of wordplay, what with it also being slightly oxymoronic in nature, combining the word commitment with something that goes before it has really arrived, and then doesn't return for several lifetimes.

    Narrator commented on Cometment

    10-20-2010

    A star to guide and imortalise love which was meant to be. Stark and mesmerising imagery which as much enchants and draws into a dream-like state of anticipaory joy, as pierces the heart and leaves a tiny totem of hope behind. I hope we all find our commet some day. Stunning use of regular stanza length and the AA BB rhyme scheme adds a beautful layer of regularity, which really just adds to the illusion. Thank you for sharing!
    Reply to Comment

    arronpalmer

    10/20/2010

    Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I am sure we will. Some may think a true, eternal love is about as regular as a comet, but there is one out there for all of us. Thank you so, so much for appreciating the structure of this poem, it means such a lot Narrator.

    Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

    Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

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