Coming To Life

2 Comments

Tags:
  • Fantasy

    Poem Commentary

    I don't have anything to say.

    Coming To Life

    She's wide awake,
    but won't open her eyes.
    Hands clenched so tight that her
    knuckles look bleached.

    She's patient, but this wait
    was wasted.
    Her mind spills open
    like confetti,
    playing pictures for everyone to see.

    Her hair is deadly,
    like small, translucent blades.
    tricky like shark-skin,
    don't get it in the wrong direction.

    Words gush like preserves from broken Mason jars.
    She tilts her head to get a different angle
    at what's happening.

    Behind bars of affliction,
    white skin meets rust,
    turing the tips of her shaking fingers
    orange.

    An itching surface,
    static fills the air,
    and she tries to plug her ears.

    Sulking in a corner,
    she cries,
    alone.
    Until a sudden light bursts through the
    darkenss of her dreams.

    A hand reaches for her's,
    She would never deny this offereing,
    this hope,
    this light.

    She's finally discovered a way out.
    People watch
    as she comes to life.

    By: Brandi Deacon
    2010

    Poem Comments

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    danmartyjake1 commented on Coming To Life

    02-10-2010

    THis is a unique style this poem is written in and takes the reader with it, not knowing where. Beautiful!

    BringMeBullets

    02/11/2010

    Thank you so much for your comments.

    dahlusion commented on Coming To Life

    02-10-2010

    This is a powerful write! "Words gush like broken Mason jars" -- with this line, add "preserves" as in, "Words gush like preserves from broken Mason jars" You are so talented for your youthful years. Lovely!!

    BringMeBullets

    02/10/2010

    Ahh! You're right! That's perfect. I'm going to do that right now. Thanks, Dan. You are utter brilliance. :)

    dahlusion

    02/10/2010

    That is "Dah", not 'Dan" Smiles!

    BringMeBullets

    02/11/2010

    He he. Ooops. "Dah." Curse my horrible typing skills...

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

    Unknown Source

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