death of an angel

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    • jenifer
    • alert but not enough sleep . hope my poems please thee.

    Poem Commentary

    token of understanding

    death of an angel

     death of an angel, death of a child,its all worth the while, cause inside we love and feel the grief from down and up above. (the triangle these walls create joins up into and damns us all to confuse, the the math the numbers they don't add up , the love ,the hate ,the pain these walls create,mirrors overhead we see the journey lost with me.

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    sk8ergirl commented on death of an angel

    10-10-2009

    great poem i really feel that emotion and i hope you will figure things out
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    kdavidscott1 commented on death of an angel

    06-07-2009

    The title is good the start is great - Slow it down a bit review your work - I will revise my work over and over to get it right - the triangle created joins up into (what), the the (is both of these suppose to be there or just one) the ending is cool but work it to explain the in depth of the poem a little better - revise this piece Jenifer... KD
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    ladydraeko commented on death of an angel

    06-02-2009

    I like what your topic is, but I find it hard to follow. I'm not sure why that is except when I saw the parenthesis I thought that was a separate part, sort of an explanation and then there wasn't another so I assume its a typo. I look forward to seeing what else you have written, Keep at it! HUGS
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    wagus commented on death of an angel

    06-02-2009

    Nice easy read but way it laid out maid it an uneasy read.. Also on line three near end ya have 'the the math'.. I often just drop words like 'the' to aviod them in line count and just words not realy needed. As it to me reads smoother leaving some things out.... that not adding realy to anything.... adding some words in poems to me like saying daa uuuuh huuum everytime ya start to say anything.. more anoyance than any thing. Also picked peom for title words Death and birth to me are simple
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    jenifer

    11/03/2011

    then you might perfer some of my others.

    Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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