deep-diving

I did not want to fall away
not really
I believe there are no accidents
so strongly
actions speak louder than words
you have to see them
and to say I run at the first sign of trouble
not freely
I wanted to tie a knot
to end my years of searching
but my choices were not so good
and I'm still hurting
what scares me the most
is not finding the right one
but settling for something less
is undeserving
dodging disappointments
not intentionally
coming off insensitive
is a self-made mask
like a cover to a book
or water in a flask
but blindness to some seekers
it's paralyzing
pushing and pulling
only nuetralizes
to say I get what I ask for
it's very rare
but to find a love worth waiting for
it's still out there
I'm deep-diving
and just a shore away