Diverging

I get knocked over with such news all at once.
For one moment of bliss I see someone (I only just met but already greatly esteem) wanting me.
Really me (at least I think, though maybe you are just lonely.)
And thirty (short) seconds later my heart plummets.
As someone (I dearly love) shares her plans of burning away her pain (because you really did love her.)
I feel my life is shaking,
And yet utterly still.
Crumbling in places (like that "solid" rock),
Flourishing in others (as I'm watered after what seems to have been a drought.)
Dissolving parts of my mind I couldn't have lived without but a year ago.
Evaporating my plans (and dreams) of childhood.
Climbing much higher than I ought to,
Threatening to
                          Fall (and get hurt, badly.)
Just as I felt in that moment,
As my heart wanted to leap with joy,
And yet convulse in bitter distress,
My personal happiness
(Eternally bound to those I love)
Was so severely conflicted that I felt nothing.
My heart moving so quickly in opposite directions that
I was torn in two, equal pieces (peaces?).
You both seem to converge with me though,
Seeking the bit of comfort I have to offer.
It's really quite odd (at least I find it so.)
That you have both gravitated towards me
(At the same time, no less.)
I'm afraid,
My mind cannot compute the idea that I am wanted.
Sought after even.
(Pursued?)
When you have so many others (much above myself),
Falling at your feet.
Laid out in front of me I see two paths, so
I want to sit and rest a while (I am so tired of wandering),
Contemplating which way (?), yet
The Storm of Time pushes me onward,
Threatening I'll miss my chance to stay dry.
I feel there should be a map or signs at least,
But no!
Fate forces me to gamble,
On which way will lead me to,
The Happiness and Peace of shelter,
For which my body aches.