DO YOU SEE ME?????

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    DO YOU SEE ME?????
    there is a RIVER of tears flowing WITHIN me
    and its all because i feel you DONT see
    you dont see who I REALLY AM

    you dont see my CRYING
    you dont see my PAIN
    you only think im HAPPY
    when REALLY im CRYING in the rain

    you OVER LOOK the good
    and go right to the BAD
    you still dont see the PAIN
    you only see me MAD

    it HURTS so bad
    i want you to see ME
    FOR ME
    not who you WANT me to be

    im am writing from the BOTTOM of my heart
    its been STORED UP for to long now
    its coming out like a RIVER of emotions
    and its all for you just to SEE

    you keep SQUASHING me like a bug on the ground
    it HURTS cant you see
    how would you feel if you were me

    i will end this now
    telling you
    I LOVE YOU
    even if you cant see ME

    and ALL IVE EVER WANTED was for you to SEE
    ME FOR ME
    not who you want me to be

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    nhorlandi commented on DO YOU SEE ME?????

    12-14-2009

    I like every line of this piece, convincing, feminine, sincere the way it's written and most of all it bleeds my heart. Excellent. 10+
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    twayneking commented on DO YOU SEE ME?????

    03-06-2009

    ...was feeling in a very powerful way. You've got the chops (I've seen it in some of your other works). Keep working on your craft. Read good poets. Keep writing. You've got some really good stuff in you. I look forward to reading it.
    Reply to Comment

    twayneking commented on DO YOU SEE ME?????

    03-06-2009

    You have a lot of potential. Your whimsical stuff is lovely. A word or advice on the heavy stuff, though. Avoid the use of the word "Pain" like you'd avoid the plague. It's overused in bad poetry so much there is hardly any way to use it effectively in good poetry. Don't tell us what emotion you feel or what you want us to feel. Show us a picture that shows us how you feel. A good example - read the lyrics to the song "Mad World". He paints pictures - little vignettes that reflect what he'
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    Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

    Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

    StefanieStammer’s Poems (19)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    i dont care 1 02/16/2010
    megan is my rainbow 1 02/16/2010
    life 1 02/16/2010
    wisper 1 01/26/2010
    he said no 3 12/24/2009
    he dropped down 1 12/24/2009
    "we" 1 12/24/2009
    slipping away 1 12/23/2009
    more 2 03/09/2009
    go away 1 03/09/2009
    why 1 03/09/2009
    past 1 03/09/2009
    mad at you 1 03/09/2009
    she left me 0 03/09/2009
    Stand Tall 0 03/05/2009
    pain 0 03/03/2009
    God Knows 1 03/03/2009
    Someone once told me 2 03/03/2009
    DO YOU SEE ME????? 3 12/24/2009
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