Don't eat the buffet


Don't eat the buffet


Don't eat the buffet. If you are obese and can't be filled. Don't eat seventeen plates and call that a deal. We are operating on a shoe string budget after the oil spill in the gulf.

If you really feel that gluttonous we can't afford to feed that much. Do not walk in the door. If you have trouble walking across a floor to pee. Don't exhaust the cook, he is tired of fat ass customers you see. It is a very simple formula and one on which the management can all agree. Don't eat the buffet, if your shoes you cannot see. If you live in a hoveround that at top speed goes one mile an hour. And you have a live in nurse to wipe your butt. Just please stop and turn that overworked thing around. We can't feed you here. But don't you fret or frown. There are places you can go too you see. Call up Richard Simmons and ask. He will help you out. So don't eat the buffet. If you are too big to give a hug. Just walk away, if you can. Get back in that moving van. Don't eat the buffet if you are on an endangered species list. Hey Fat ass? Do you catch our drift? The sign outside say, 'all you can eat'. Not all we can cook! Thank you for your support.

Give the Golden Corral our best now......You hear?


Phil G. Inman Sr.

September 5th 2010

Disclaimer: Author is fat too

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carynontherhine commented on Don't eat the buffet


Oh so original to say the least! Your previous poem I read was about the mechanic and now with the buffet, my mom used to comment the entire meal if she saw someone really heavy keep going up. She would say, look at him! He does not need to go up anymore and look at his plate with his food piled high ready to fall on the floor in one big mush! This hits home! She would have loved this one if only I could show her. thanks for the enjoyment! Hugz



This dark humor piece was written with the comedienne in mind who first came up with, you go now, you been here four hours! Whoever that was. I do find it Ironic sad and amusing how we overweight people keep foraging at the trough, knowing it can and will kill us someday. But I try to enjoy life and if that is fun for them who are we to judge?

kakurenbo commented on Don't eat the buffet


L0l. Funny. And good. I agree, No more obese people at buffes. Fight the fat! Haha.



Thank you very much.

Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

philjonesin’s Poems (53)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Lie with you 1
The Mechanic's 2
Don't eat the buffet 2
Carnivorous Carnival 1
Too much L.S.D. 1
Sensual Machinations 2
Gone 1
Poets Elysium 0
Tools, Lessons, Memories and Grace 1
Tonight 2
Time 0
This Time 2
The way you look. 1
The Void 0
The Stars 0
The L.S.D. Adventure 0
The Despot 0
The Demon 0
The City 0
That's just me.......... 0
Tarnished 0
Spoke the Leo to the Capricorn 0
She Said 0
Questions of faith 0
One Thousand 0
My uncle's Cat 0
My Neighbor 0
my best friend 0
Magical World part two 0
Magical World 0
Judgement Day 0
Jack and Jill 0
I'm no "G" 2
It hurts me.... 0
Insanity 0
Humanity's last days.... 0
How? 0
Hatred 1
Glass house 2
For Tammi 0
For Raina.... 0
Facilius Descensus Averno 0
Drive 1
Brother 1
Corridors 0
Rage 0
The Heart 0
Home 0
Father 0
Untitled 1
The Tragedienne 0
I Am 0
Sad Goodbye 0