ELEVATOR

5 Comments

Tags:
  • Philosophy

    Poem Commentary

    i wrote this one intoxicated

    ELEVATOR

    they watch and wait
    change the channel
    always regret
    the morning after
    the negativity in empty spaces
    the lush grandeur in prideful places
    caught in the middle
    of something incredible
    there is no mystery anymore
    death at my door
    one more floor
    pick an elevator and die there
    each and every time we lie
    there is consequence
    in a sequence
    a deliverance of unintended delusions
    to someone you hold dear
    but keep far away and clear
    never stand too near to the places you fear
    we cant breathe in closed spaces
    highest elevations
    leave us gasping for morality
    in a world gone completely
    asymptomatic

    Poem Comments

    (5)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    Darkfire commented on ELEVATOR

    06-22-2009

    Definitly impressed me on this one. The combination of flow and vocabulary make the reader endulge in the poem like it should, great job.

    daydreamer23 commented on ELEVATOR

    06-21-2009

    whoa man that was really...really good im inspired man your use of language excellent, it just flowed perfectly,awesome

    AmadeusEx

    06/22/2009

    thank you for the positive comment, i really enjoyed this one as well..hope you keep reading them

    jademelissa74 commented on ELEVATOR

    06-21-2009

    "leave us gasping for morality in a world gone completely asymptomatic" What a way to end this poem! The mystical phrases used to create this piece are absolutely incredible! There is so much reflection offered through tthis piece. You have a way to maintain the reader interested. Great Job my friend! I love your poem! One for One-

    AmadeusEx

    06/21/2009

    everytime you comment, you leave such positive support, please continue reading because you have no idea how much i appreciate it

    AmadeusEx

    06/22/2009

    tell me what you think of my newest one, faith of the unbeliever

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

    AmadeusEx’s Poems (89)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Icebreakers 0
    I can't believe this is FANTASY 1
    Minstrel 7
    Lust 15
    Wanderlust 6
    Carving Pumpkins 4
    Brothers 3
    Second Chances 8
    The Infinite Appeal 4
    A Song for the Departed 3
    I Die the Next Day 4
    There Are No Bubbles 3
    Ephemeral Dream Girl 2
    Idle While.... 6
    crossing bridges 8
    King Forever 2
    To Deceitful Eyes 1
    Star Burning Bright 5
    Swirling in the Tidewater 4
    An Inch Away from Daylight 3
    Shovelful of Earth 6
    American Highway 1
    Bitches Be Loco 4
    Eddies of Fate 3
    Magnified 5
    Legacy Part One 4
    Moving Inexorably Further Behind 12
    Salvation of the Roses 39
    The Emptiness of Breathing 11
    Fall Into the Stream and Hold Your Breath 6
    The Bloom Of Death 18
    Slancha Ireland... 3
    My Death Inside Me 0
    Dark Passenger 4
    No Salvation for the Saved 0
    In the End we Pray... 1
    I Walk With You 3
    Regret of the Rarely Seen 9
    This Daughter of Ours 4
    This Day is Gone 8
    Ladykiller 14
    Insider 5
    Bone 3
    Ode to Holy Mountain 6
    A Rembrandt in my Pocket 7
    Tree 8
    My Demented Decline 7
    The Never Said 16
    23 Seconds 14
    The Blood of Ours 10
    My Death Will Rise 7
    Immortality of Youth 2
    Shelter Seeker 12
    I Took Her 9
    The Bones of the Clown 8
    Nothing But our Nights 27
    Atlas and Pandora (the Strength and the Plague) 16
    Sign 4
    Rainbow Warrior 7
    Grandma' 1
    FOG IN THE GARDEN 0
    Faith of An Unbeliever 12
    ELEVATOR 5
    Dual We You or Me... 1
    As A Child 8
    Heroes and Cowards 5
    Shaitan 2
    A Legacy 0
    Beauty Awaits 2
    Only So Far 4
    A Composition of Sin 5
    Bitter Salt in a Laboring Heart 0
    Unmeant 3
    Death of Promise 5
    I'll Never Wake Up Free 2
    Bleak 1
    Paper Walls 4
    At The Edge of Ruin 4
    Kingdom in our Hearts 2
    Air And Smoke 4
    Eyes Struck Blind 3
    You and I 3
    Miz Understood Dream 2
    One Escape 0
    Heaven 3
    Halo 3
    Glass in Hand 2
    Digital Legs 4
    Immolated 4