Embers

5 Comments

Embers

My eyes rest upon you -
all bone china and gossamer,
skin breaking beneath the weight of 
a single eyelash.
I strain to remember how to escape
the fragility of your pale frame.
Some instinct remains, an errant memory
Instigating a faint gesture.
Ghosts flutter past your eyes
before stuttering out.
A banal smile
fixed upon the ashes.
The sweet stench of decay clings to our sheets
Trying to contain our breath,
Lurching towards drowning 
in the stagnant pool we created.
My eyes rest upon you -
all bone china and gossamer,
skin breaking beneath the weight of 
a single eyelash.
I strain to remember how to escape
the fragility of your pale frame.
Some instinct remains, an errant memory
Instigating a faint gesture.
Ghosts flutter past your eyes
before stuttering out.
A banal smile
fixed upon the ashes.
The sweet stench of decay clings to our sheets
Trying to contain our breath,
Lurching towards drowning 
in the stagnant pool we created.

Poem Comments

(5)

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MootPoint commented on Embers

05-07-2013

Interesting write. It seems a little scattered, but that might be what is appealing to some people. Instead of "all" bone china and gossamer, how about "of" bone china and gossamer? There are some contradictions I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around. Let me say I am no expert, just trying to give my honest opinion, which I would like others to do the same for me. I can tell you this write is unique and makes one think. thx

Lasmuigh

05/07/2013

"All bone china and gossamer" was actually an allusion to the idiom "all skin and bone", again to sort of underline how brittle the subject is. Good suggestion though! Yes, being a bit scattered was also on purpose - the flow is disruptive to the reader's eye until the last stanza. The speaker is able to think freely when contemplating the only certainty - the death of their relationship. Thank you for your comprehensive and honest feedback, I'll make sure to return the favour.

blvdobd2009 commented on Embers

05-07-2013

Your heart is beautifully transparent, and open, and all that is exposed is raw heartache and longing.....just so wonderfully revealed...Great work

Lasmuigh

05/07/2013

Thanks! I'm glad it resonated with you.

lorenzo commented on Embers

05-06-2013

achingly beautiful................................................

Lasmuigh

05/06/2013

Thank you :)

Tarin16 commented on Embers

05-05-2013

"skin breaking beneath the weight of a single eyelash.".......Work of ART.....! ~TaRiN16*

Lasmuigh

05/06/2013

Thank you!

Phission commented on Embers

05-05-2013

such a beautifully penned and personal account that holds the reader, guides him over and through the words so raw. I love it. you have a gift !

Lasmuigh

05/05/2013

Thank you so much! It was nerve wracking putting poetry up here, so it means a lot to get some feedback.

Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

Lasmuigh’s Poems (2)

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Embers 5
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