For You To Know
Beautiful,
Beloved there are a few things that I must make clear to you.
I need you to understand that for me too it is not easy... Loving You. Wishing to take your pain upon myself. For me to express my inner most desires for another, not knowing whether or not they feel the same.
In a sense you are right when you say that loving is loosing because you are loosing emptiness to be replaced with a love that is coupled with that of God's own.
You are loosing the baggage of the past to make room for this new found joy that is brought forth by another, a feeling that is indescribable.
But now here I stand, openly and ready to give and receive love, but love has hidden herself away from my heart, leaving me lost far beyond what I had initially imagined.
The fact of the matter is... I miss you. Yes, you, the woman who taught me how to love. And yes, I'm crying right now, but at least I'm not holding it in as I have before.
Why do I feel the way I do... why is it you... truthfully I haven't a clue, but I see no reason that it shouldn't.
At times I'm good and able to maintain my focus and move forward, but days like today... well they can get to be a bit much.. too hard to handle. You had me and you just didn't know it. Funny thing is that once I realize that you were real, your emotions had gotten to the breaking point.
I miss your funny little laugh and your beautiful smile. I miss what you described as "the pregnant silence on the phone." I miss your kiss and the way you would rub my right hand as you held it, stroking it in a circular motion with your thumb. I just miss the good that we had and want it back minus the bad.
I understand your job and the goals that we each have. I understand that you need to move on and I respect that, but I just needed for you to know. Make of it what you want. I understand if its too much too little too late, but I just thought that you should know.
Please excuse my overspill of emotional sauntering at this ridiculous hour. I promise to never do this again unwanted. Once again, I still want to remain friends if there is nothing else. May everyday of your life be Blessed and just remember that I love you.
Beloved there are a few things that I must make clear to you.
I need you to understand that for me too it is not easy... Loving You. Wishing to take your pain upon myself. For me to express my inner most desires for another, not knowing whether or not they feel the same.
In a sense you are right when you say that loving is loosing because you are loosing emptiness to be replaced with a love that is coupled with that of God's own.
You are loosing the baggage of the past to make room for this new found joy that is brought forth by another, a feeling that is indescribable.
But now here I stand, openly and ready to give and receive love, but love has hidden herself away from my heart, leaving me lost far beyond what I had initially imagined.
The fact of the matter is... I miss you. Yes, you, the woman who taught me how to love. And yes, I'm crying right now, but at least I'm not holding it in as I have before.
Why do I feel the way I do... why is it you... truthfully I haven't a clue, but I see no reason that it shouldn't.
At times I'm good and able to maintain my focus and move forward, but days like today... well they can get to be a bit much.. too hard to handle. You had me and you just didn't know it. Funny thing is that once I realize that you were real, your emotions had gotten to the breaking point.
I miss your funny little laugh and your beautiful smile. I miss what you described as "the pregnant silence on the phone." I miss your kiss and the way you would rub my right hand as you held it, stroking it in a circular motion with your thumb. I just miss the good that we had and want it back minus the bad.
I understand your job and the goals that we each have. I understand that you need to move on and I respect that, but I just needed for you to know. Make of it what you want. I understand if its too much too little too late, but I just thought that you should know.
Please excuse my overspill of emotional sauntering at this ridiculous hour. I promise to never do this again unwanted. Once again, I still want to remain friends if there is nothing else. May everyday of your life be Blessed and just remember that I love you.
Signed,
Your Forever Love
Your Forever Love
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