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paradise love

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12-06-2013 at 03:13:37 PM

paradise love

In a field filled with red poppies, yellow tulips and forget me nots

The scent of jasmine and wild roses overwhelms us

The shade of poplar trees, oaks and cedars covers us

The song of love birds, canaries and doves surrounds us

There in paradise we first danced

Our bodies intertwined as one

Our spirits finally united

Our hearts finally beat

We could finally breath 

We could finally smile 

Your arms strong and powerful lifted me

Your body masculine and beautiful warmed me

Your smile honest and memorable inspired me

Your mouth sweet and tender kissed me


In paradise we tasted from the forbidden tree


But why does heaven matter if you're not there with me 




SEB

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01-25-2014 at 07:25:53 PM

RE: paradise love

I like itgrin

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01-26-2014 at 08:21:26 AM

RE: paradise love

Nice flow! Clean and tight at least by my sight. Kudo's!

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05-15-2014 at 05:49:28 PM

RE: paradise love

Very good. "Our hearts finally beat" I think could be improved upon. Did you mean our hearts paused then finally beat? I am not clear on it. It might be just me.

Besides that, I really like it. Nice visual effects. You paint a nice picture.

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When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA
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