For a while I was searching
On a quest
For answers or
Reasons or
Even as much as I didn’t want to find it
Closure
I overanalyzed
Looked for “hidden”
As in, ya know, made up
Meanings behind everything you said
I tried so hard
Devoted so much of myself
To making this better
To making this alright
To trying to make this not
Hurt
But it hurt so much
And I tried to believe your “heartfelt”
A.K.A. empty
Words
I tried to put faith in “us”
Although we never really existed
I had to keep on keepin on
I needed stability
Something to hold me up as I “moved on”
By that I mean stumbled, fell, and hid from the world
I wasted almost a month of life
Searching for your heart
But I never found it
And I’d probably still be looking
If I wasn’t for “you”
Or, you know, the lack thereof
Thanks for stopping my search
Letting me know my quest was over
Telling me that we were over
Though “telling” may not be the right word
Cuz ever since our “intimate”
(Bullshitted)
Conversation, you haven’t told me anything
You haven’t said a word to me
I spent weeks remembering how you looked at me
Like you were seeing into me
Well, that’s been pretty much erased
Replaced
(Like me)
Booted by new looks
Or, ya know, the lack thereof
Your turning me away tells me
More than you could ever say
You obviously know nothing about me
To think I’d stand by
Waitin
While you treated me like nothing
I’m not that kind of girl
Come to think of it
I’m not your kind of girl
I’m better than that
I deserve more than that
Better than you
And you’ll never even get a taste
Of my love
Of my life
Of my taste
All that’s left for you
Is an uncaring face
You wanna up and leave without a trace
Well, two can play that game
(Even if we can’t play this one)
Would’ve loved you
Didn’t want to lose you
But I don’t need you
I can’t hate you
But that doesn’t mean I’ll play nice
Didn’t want to be without you
But that doesn’t mean you’re untouchable
(Or irreplaceable)
Didn’t want to be without you
But I can be you
Do what you do
Act like I don’t see you
Not let you see me
When I’m arranged more
Weakly
Even if I see you on the weekly
For your info
Don’t act like you don’t know
Boy,
This game’s over
I’m out
It’s done
I win
I’m through
And boy,
Let me tell you
You’re the one who’s gonna lose.