Poem Commentary

i don't want to give the impression that i am anti-romantic love. quite the contrary. even though my comparisons to romantic love of late have been dark and forboding. i am just dusting off the cobwebs and rebuilding. this poem is just a documentation of my progress and process. "Gun" was written down in two minutes but was arranged over a lifetime.

gun

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is love like a gun
has it ruined warm days
creating strangeways and newscasts

is love warm once fired
and do the expired lie still
out of fear or escape

can one survive the gun of love
and will i ever be brave enough
to put that barrel against my heart and head again
will hope arrive
like my emotion running red

if love is like a gun
careful where you point it
i don't mean to sound disappointed
but it hurts






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Poem Comments

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Kingwebstar commented on gun

09-04-2012

This poem is awesome!!! Great Comparisons too.Thanks for the comment it is strange to me when people claim to read my work but never comment so I never know who they are until they comment. Thanks again .I will read lots more from you when I have the time King stays busy ruling and not just here 4 other sites too lol. Love Da KinG

Phission

09/05/2012

great lol.

cheronld commented on gun

08-29-2012

This has a familiar ring to it.....the poem commentary gave me a different aspect of this write than what I felt after reading it.....I love the comparison to love and a gun....it made for a stronger impact to the words within.....and....a blend of the "Authors" insight.....great write....Cher

Phission

08/30/2012

i like this one ( is it wrong to say that about your own work in the comments ? lol ). i try to use words and items that get attention bvecause my poems are so short and the message needs to have an immediate impact.

cheronld

09/01/2012

Your intent is made clear by the content despite how long or short it may be....but your potent words just give it that extra jolt for the right kind of spice....( craving my Caribbean food sorry)..lol...btw...nothing wrong with appreciating your own work at all.....be safe..Cher

EyesOfRain commented on gun

08-29-2012

I LOVE THIS!!!!!! "can one survive the gun of love and will i ever be brave enough to put that barrel against my heart and head again" Absolute genius!

Phission

08/29/2012

aww, thank you, eyesO. I like to get the point across even if i have point a barrell. lol

Iliketoflyaway commented on gun

08-29-2012

I like your poem. This was arranged in two minutes. you did a great job with this one.

Phission

08/29/2012

thank you, thank you, lliketo. i appreciate your time.

Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

Phission’s Poems (24)

Title Comments
Title Comments
hands 1
freight rain 2
goodbye 8
sensual central 1
goodnight, summer night 3
the robin 2
gun 4
top of the sky 2
eulogy 2
do you love me 3
i lost her 4
home 2
observations in random rows 3
these days 1
music and dreams 3
point blank 5
the gift 2
breathing love 6
position 8
name 5
one 3
companion 2
beware 4
this ( for annie ) 3