Halo of Leaves

2 Comments

  • iLuvPoetryJACOB
  • Poetry will always emerge out of the shadows of depression, shining like a star in the scarcity of light.

Poem Commentary

my creative writing teacher had the entire class write poems or stories about the big tree at our school that was struck by lightning in a storm and fell. now that area seems so empty........ that euphoric feeling that washed over me when i saw my poem next to the article that was about the tree........and to think, I'M in the newspaper staff, and i didnt even know they included it in the paper! now im rambling..........

Halo of Leaves

A sanctuary from heat when the sun lay too bright,

a monument of secrecy when the sky fades to black.

You transform as the night becomes more dense,

standing, a looming figure the moonlight falls upon,

a halo of leaves for the wind to slither through.

 

Amazing how something so still can be so graceful,

a beauty only nature can inspire.

 

You stood through raging winds and crystal blades from the sky,

your arms flailing and bending with the wind.

Though your trunk remained immobile as the eyes of the deceased,

Fate’s anger at your persistence shot down from the sky,

zigzagging from the heavens as it came,

shattering you.

 

A simple living statue, nature’s haven,

fragment of Mother Nature’s soul, lay on our grounds.

 

—Feb. 17, 2010

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EinStud commented on Halo of Leaves

04-05-2010

"A simple living statue" is a good line. I wonder if I should not read the comments made by the artist prior to reading the poem. I too remember a tree in our courtyard at school, and when bored in class, my mind did wander to the tree often. Maybe if I did not read your comments to prior to reading the poem, I would have not been swayed in this direction. I think here is a great example why some poems need foreshadowing. You could have put those comments in your poem (because if they ever become separated, will your poem have the same meaning?). It was just something I noticed. And I love to observe things, then write about them. I am crafting the Haiku response to your poem right now...

EinStud commented on Halo of Leaves

04-05-2010

Hello. I give 3 reviews per week, sometimes more, but never less. Your poem has been selected (not affiliated with this website of course). You will automatically get a 10 from me, but in exchange I will thrash your poem and pull it like taffy (a good, clean, fun, pulling). Please remember, I am judging the poem, the speaker in the poem,... not you the Poet. My opinion can only be swayed by good reasoning. Yes, I can change my mind. So good luck. You got your Ten. I am not trying to win any popularity contests! PS A Haiku poetic response to your poem is also provided. The title will include something from your title, so it will be easy to find. Peace Out, your friend... EinStud .

If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

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