Happy Birthday To Me

4 Comments

Tags:
  • Humor
    • ,
  • Birthdays

    Happy Birthday To Me

     Take a look at my I.D.
    It is from the DMV
    My birth date is there to see
    Please don't sing happy birthday to me

    I cannot take getting older
    I give birthdays the cold shoulder
    This is more than I can take
    Throw away the birthday cake

    I don't need a gift or card
    I am taking this quite hard
    Age is just a number, right?
    Then why does my hair turn white?

    My back aches, I blame bursitis
    My joints throb due to arthritis
    How I hate these sad adventures
    That I'll face wearing new dentures

    Maybe I should take a jog
    Before my arteries clog
    It's hard to drive in a hurry
    When your vision is too blurry

    Getting old is a disgrace!
    Look at my now wrinkly face!
    I've even been brought to tears
    Because hair grows from my ears!

    Why does my memory fade?
    Tell me, where's my hearing aid?
    If you make fun of my pain
    I will hit you with my cane!

    All the names that I've been called
    Just because I'm going bald!
    My metabolism's slow
    Frequently, I have to go!

    That's a fact that makes me sadder
    When I can't control my bladder
    My stool must become more loose
    That is why I drink prune juice

    Getting old is not a joke
    Listen good, before I croak!
    I can see you're upset too
    At least I'm younger than you! 

    Poem Comments

    (4)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    cttgad commented on Happy Birthday To Me

    09-20-2012

    LOL! Love it! Just have to keep telling oneself that with age comes wisdom. Its make us a genius. keep writing I love it
    Reply to Comment

    1990lh commented on Happy Birthday To Me

    06-20-2011

    lmao this is reaally funny aahahahahahahahaha, love it! Do you have a book out? If you don't you should definitely write a book. you are awesome
    Reply to Comment

    bluewolf commented on Happy Birthday To Me

    02-09-2011

    LMAO, I love it! It reminds me of Weird Al’s “When I Was Your Age” lyrics; which I enjoy equally so. True it is difficult to age as we watch those younger than we enjoy their youth. But we all have our time and place and must enjoy each moment to the fullest. This is going to my favorites list.
    Reply to Comment

    am2anangel commented on Happy Birthday To Me

    02-06-2011

    lmao omg I loved this one. brilliant to say the least. This should so be a birthday card. lol! I loved it. And you are still younger than me so shhhhh! lol! It's okay i'm sure you'll age like a fine wine. In all the good ways. well one. -Tonya
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

    schizopoet’s Poems (344)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    Victims 2 03/07/2013
    Approachable 2 12/28/2012
    Dizzy 1 12/20/2012
    Important 1 12/20/2012
    Words 1 12/20/2012
    Getting Even 0 12/11/2012
    No Disrespect 0 12/11/2012
    Stamina 0 11/25/2012
    Structure 1 10/22/2012
    Stationery 0 10/03/2012
    Angelic 0 10/02/2012
    Long Division 0 10/02/2012
    Smoke 1 09/30/2012
    Kinetic 3 09/28/2012
    Camouflage 3 09/28/2012
    Quicksand 1 09/25/2012
    Younger 0 09/24/2012
    Let Me Love Her 2 09/21/2012
    Believe 1 09/21/2012
    Mercy 2 09/20/2012
    Never Forget You 1 09/16/2012
    Under Construction 2 09/09/2012
    Let Me Cry 2 09/06/2012
    A Helping Hand 1 09/06/2012
    Selfish 1 09/05/2012
    Psychiatry 2 09/05/2012
    Xylophone 3 09/05/2012
    Shine 2 09/05/2012
    The Great Physician 1 08/15/2012
    Helicopter 1 07/27/2012
    Competition 1 07/27/2012
    Is This Love? 1 07/19/2012
    Pride 2 07/14/2012
    The Cage 2 07/14/2012
    A Precious Gift 2 07/11/2012
    Unwanted 2 07/11/2012
    A Backwards Step 1 07/10/2012
    Skunk 2 07/09/2012
    Man On A Mission 1 07/09/2012
    Special 3 06/19/2012
    Sob Story 1 06/15/2012
    Moving On 4 05/29/2012
    Oil 3 05/29/2012
    Immune 1 05/25/2012
    Tug Of War 1 03/21/2012
    Hate To Hate You 1 03/21/2012
    Higher 2 03/20/2012
    My Beloved 1 03/11/2012
    Black Or White 1 02/26/2012
    Shadows 1 02/25/2012
    Expiration Date 1 02/16/2012
    Like It Never Happened 2 02/13/2012
    Spinning Around 1 02/13/2012
    Paper 1 02/12/2012
    Handle With Care 1 02/06/2012
    Yes Or No 1 02/06/2012
    Barriers 1 02/03/2012
    February 1 02/03/2012
    Faster 1 01/30/2012
    What If? 1 01/30/2012
    Forbidden Love 2 01/28/2012
    Something About The Wind 1 01/22/2012
    Fruitful 1 01/22/2012
    Jump Start 1 01/22/2012
    Mine Again 1 01/22/2012
    Zeal 1 01/18/2012
    The Road Of Life 1 01/18/2012
    Cinnamon 2 01/13/2012
    The Onion 1 01/12/2012
    The Potato 1 01/12/2012
    To Those I've Hurt 2 01/12/2012
    Weird World 2 01/12/2012
    Ray Of Sunshine 4 01/11/2012
    The Extra Mile 1 01/09/2012
    Skin 2 01/08/2012
    Compensating 1 01/02/2012
    The Door 1 12/31/2011
    The Hand That Feeds You 2 12/31/2011
    Resolutions 3 12/31/2011
    Reformation 1 12/31/2011
    Book Of Life 2 12/31/2011
    A Losing Game 1 12/31/2011
    My Everything 3 12/24/2011
    Static 1 12/11/2011
    Mayonnaise 3 12/09/2011
    Lonely Warrior 1 12/06/2011
    Biases 1 12/04/2011
    Contributions 1 12/03/2011
    Lying To Myself 2 12/03/2011
    Flashbacks 1 12/03/2011
    Pumpkin 1 12/03/2011
    Soup 1 12/03/2011
    The Art Of Love 2 12/02/2011
    Inexplicable 1 12/02/2011
    Teardrops 2 12/02/2011
    Feedback 1 11/30/2011
    All You Can Eat 3 11/13/2011
    Powerless 1 11/13/2011
    Wishful Thinking 1 11/10/2011
    Into The Light 1 11/10/2011
    Incomprehensi
    ble    		 2 11/10/2011
    My War 1 11/10/2011
    Rising Star 1 11/10/2011
    All My Love 1 11/10/2011
    Side By Side 1 11/10/2011
    Inconsistent 1 11/10/2011
    Sane 1 11/10/2011
    Concerned 1 11/10/2011
    Missing Pieces 1 11/10/2011
    Crossing The Line 1 11/10/2011
    Friction 1 11/09/2011
    Curious 1 11/09/2011
    Outside 1 11/09/2011
    Remember To Forget 1 11/09/2011
    Recharge 1 10/20/2011
    Breakdown 1 10/02/2011
    Fight Or Flight 1 09/11/2011
    Keep Them Guessing 1 09/11/2011
    My Love For Her 1 09/11/2011
    Numb 2 09/07/2011
    Cake 3 09/01/2011
    Because Of Love 1 09/01/2011
    A Good Impression 1 08/06/2011
    August 1 08/04/2011
    Next To You 1 08/04/2011
    Alive 1 08/04/2011
    A Friend Like You 1 08/04/2011
    Telephone 2 07/20/2011
    Parachute 1 07/19/2011
    Missing Out 2 07/15/2011
    Bleed 4 07/02/2011
    Better Days 2 06/28/2011
    The Whole Enchilada 2 06/22/2011
    Trust 1 06/21/2011
    On The Line 1 06/21/2011
    Chemistry 1 06/19/2011
    Dark Blue 2 06/19/2011
    Older 1 06/14/2011
    Temper Temper 2 06/05/2011
    Somehow 2 05/31/2011
    Echo 1 05/31/2011
    Spider 2 05/13/2011
    The Script 1 05/13/2011
    Stargazer 1 05/13/2011
    Sand 1 04/30/2011
    Melissa 2 04/28/2011
    Winds Of Change 1 04/18/2011
    Rewind 1 04/16/2011
    Damaged 1 04/13/2011
    Hyperactive Boy 1 04/13/2011
    A Great Desire 1 04/13/2011
    All The Proof I Need 1 04/12/2011
    Your Kiss 1 04/11/2011
    Utopia 1 03/27/2011
    Flashlight 2 03/27/2011
    Without You 1 03/27/2011
    Serious 1 03/16/2011
    Where I Belong 1 03/16/2011
    Hear Me Out 1 03/16/2011
    What I Believe 1 03/16/2011
    Dishonest 1 03/16/2011
    The Maximum 1 03/15/2011
    Wings 1 03/15/2011
    A Lonely Man 3 03/15/2011
    Compassionate 3 03/15/2011
    Doubt 3 03/15/2011
    To Love You More 3 03/15/2011
    Patience 5 03/09/2011
    Points Of Light 2 03/09/2011
    Zero 3 03/05/2011
    Rock Bottom 1 03/05/2011
    What You Are To Me 2 02/18/2011
    Goodbye 2 02/18/2011
    Ice 1 02/18/2011
    Out Of Love 1 02/18/2011
    A Gun To My Head 3 02/17/2011
    Water 4 02/17/2011
    It's All About Me 1 02/17/2011
    Code Four 1 02/07/2011
    Tact 2 02/07/2011
    Burn 1 02/07/2011
    Optimism 1 02/07/2011
    Episodes 2 02/06/2011
    Talented 1 02/06/2011
    My Last Name 2 02/06/2011
    In Times Of Need 2 02/06/2011
    The Truth About Lying 2 02/06/2011
    Happy Birthday To Me 4 02/06/2011
    Pieces To My Puzzle 1 02/06/2011
    Testosterone 2 01/27/2011
    Cockroaches! 3 01/27/2011
    The Pimple Poem 1 01/27/2011
    The Crimson Crab 1 01/27/2011
    Shift 2 01/27/2011
    Actual Beauty 6 01/27/2011
    Excuses 5 01/23/2011
    Never Too Late 1 01/22/2011
    Emotions 1 01/14/2011
    Measure Of Success 1 01/14/2011
    Next Time 1 01/14/2011
    Walls Of Ice 1 01/14/2011
    Living Proof 1 01/14/2011
    Incentives 1 01/14/2011
    Enough 2 01/01/2011
    Bullied 2 01/01/2011
    Form And Function 1 01/01/2011
    Always Loving You 1 01/01/2011
    Tears For My Father 5 01/01/2011
    Security 1 01/01/2011
    Wax 1 01/01/2011
    A Higher Power 2 12/27/2010
    Labyrinth Of Lies 4 12/26/2010
    Labels 4 12/26/2010
    The Switch 1 12/26/2010
    Solutions 2 12/24/2010
    Face The Day 2 12/05/2010
    Fireproof 1 12/05/2010
    The Hard Way 1 12/05/2010
    The One 3 11/11/2010
    End Of The World 3 11/11/2010
    A Fly On The Wall 2 11/11/2010
    Do I Dare? 2 11/08/2010
    Nothing In Return 2 11/01/2010
    What Love Can Do To Me 2 11/01/2010
    The Middle 5 09/24/2010
    Words From The Heart 3 09/24/2010
    Panic Button 2 09/24/2010
    Empathy 4 09/24/2010
    Chance Of Rain 1 09/24/2010
    Obligations 1 09/24/2010
    Earthquakes 1 09/24/2010
    All I'm Looking For 1 09/24/2010
    Scars 2 09/24/2010
    The Golden Touch 1 09/24/2010
    Superhero 1 09/24/2010
    Considerate 2 09/10/2010
    Love Is A Verb 1 09/09/2010
    Chinese Food 2 08/14/2010
    My Last Apology 1 08/14/2010
    Speed Limit 1 08/14/2010
    Victory 1 08/14/2010
    Bridges 2 08/13/2010
    Meaningful 1 08/13/2010
    Meowy 1 08/13/2010
    Stressful Times 1 08/13/2010
    A Welcome Change 1 08/13/2010
    Teddy Fox 1 08/13/2010
    Deception 1 08/13/2010
    The Scenic Route 2 08/13/2010
    Fearful 1 08/09/2010
    Adventurous 1 08/09/2010
    Michael 1 08/08/2010
    Neutral 2 08/08/2010
    Copycat 2 08/08/2010
    Money Matters 1 08/08/2010
    Halitosis 1 08/07/2010
    Banana 4 08/05/2010
    Music In My Heart 2 08/05/2010
    Butterfly Or Moth 1 08/05/2010
    Visions 1 08/05/2010
    December 1 08/05/2010
    Agree To Disagree 1 08/05/2010
    Islands In The Sky 1 08/05/2010
    Simplified 1 08/05/2010
    Steam 1 08/05/2010
    Breaking Through 1 08/05/2010
    Spectrum 1 08/05/2010
    Make A Difference 1 08/05/2010
    Perspective 1 08/05/2010
    One Last Chance 1 07/06/2010
    Back To Basics 0 07/06/2010
    The Worst Of Me 2 06/27/2010
    A Normal Life 1 06/27/2010
    Lazy 1 06/26/2010
    Taking Chances 0 06/26/2010
    Apprehension 0 06/26/2010
    Villains 0 06/26/2010
    Run With It 0 06/26/2010
    Believe In Me 0 06/26/2010
    Aura 2 06/26/2010
    The Military 3 06/26/2010
    Redemption 0 06/26/2010
    Win Or Lose 1 06/26/2010
    Images Of You 0 06/26/2010
    Pendulums 1 06/26/2010
    Poisonous 1 06/26/2010
    Anthem 0 12/01/2009
    Hard To Get 1 12/01/2009
    Cookie 0 12/01/2009
    Love At First Sight 0 12/01/2009
    Poochie 1 12/01/2009
    Bunny 1 12/01/2009
    Gasoline 0 12/01/2009
    Backup Boyfriend 1 12/01/2009
    Mad At Me 0 12/01/2009
    Win Her Heart 0 12/01/2009
    Less Of Me 1 11/28/2009
    A Sensitive Issue 0 11/28/2009
    My Philosophy 2 11/28/2009
    Magnified 1 11/26/2009
    Frog 6 11/26/2009
    I Love You 5 11/26/2009
    A Single Drop Of Water 2 11/26/2009
    Too Much 0 11/26/2009
    Social Security 0 11/26/2009
    Dear Enemy 1 11/26/2009
    Body Language 0 11/16/2009
    Escape 1 11/16/2009
    Work It Out 1 11/15/2009
    Schizophrenia 2 11/15/2009
    Good Intentions 1 11/12/2009
    Ocean 0 11/12/2009
    The End 0 11/12/2009
    Skeleton 3 11/12/2009
    Glass 4 11/10/2009
    Somewhere In Between 1 11/10/2009
    Equilibrium 0 11/10/2009
    Envious 0 11/10/2009
    Masks 1 11/08/2009
    The Line 1 11/06/2009
    Paycheck To Paycheck 1 11/06/2009
    Sparrows 1 11/06/2009
    Minimum Wage 0 11/06/2009
    A Love I Can't Explain 1 11/06/2009
    Quality Time 0 11/05/2009
    Downfall 1 11/05/2009
    Delusions 2 11/05/2009
    Forgive And Forget 2 11/05/2009
    Forest Of Dreams 1 11/04/2009
    Criticized 1 11/04/2009
    Generosity 1 11/04/2009
    The Climb 0 11/03/2009
    Crazy 2 11/03/2009
    Diversity 0 11/03/2009
    The Casino 1 11/03/2009
    The Scare 0 11/03/2009
    Salt 2 11/03/2009
    The Dance 1 11/03/2009
    Your Choice 0 11/03/2009
    A Changing World 1 11/03/2009
    Challenges 1 10/29/2009
    Hollow 1 10/29/2009
    Haven 4 10/29/2009
    Sugar Rush 3 06/29/2009
    Top of Page