here
Crimson viscera applauds my efforts,were ideals embraced,
the world, as it thwarts
these grey skies
my fingers traced.
It is not I whom you love,
I was not an answer to your prayers,
nor was I sent from above,
I wont endure chilling despairs.
here
2 Comments
Tags: Dark Poetry
were ideals embraced,
the world, as it thwarts
these grey skies
my fingers traced.
It is not I whom you love,
I was not an answer to your prayers,
nor was I sent from above,
I wont endure chilling despairs.
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Poem Comments
(2)
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shallenemcgrath commented on here
01-02-2011
- A suggested rewrite would be:/ here/ Crimson viscera applauds,/ ideals embraced,/ the world, thwarts/ grey skies/ fingers trace./ absent in love,/ absent in prayer,/ Not from above,/ A requiem for chilling despair.[stop] If you will notice I mostly only took out "I", "my" and "you". Everyone is so terminally afraid if they remove these words that no one will get their meaning. The most important part of art is to leave a blank space where the audience can insert themselves into the work. You should try writing a poem with no reference to yourself or another. Another great exercise is to write a poem with absolutely no verbs.
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07-28-2010
- No...not despair, but definitely chilling. Why, when I read this, do I envision a note left at a crime scene? *o*
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07/29/2010
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07/30/2010
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