House Of Cards

2 Comments

Poem Commentary

I found 7 old notebooks from the 80's (which I thought were lost forever), and this poem I didn't really remember writing until I read about half way through it. I pulled out my editing scalpel and began cutting on this, but then decided to leave it as is for now, straight out of a heartbroken teenagers cerebral cortex (I'm a corny dork I know).

House Of Cards


So the story behind this one is-
I was really in love, more than I could handle, then something horrible happened. I have the ability to see 5-10 steps ahead in all situations (more of a curse than you'll ever know), and I saw our fate very quickly. I knew everything she wanted and everything I wanted, wasn't going to be possible the way we were living. So I tried to make changes, and the house of cards came crashing down.
So on the night she left, I knelt down in the middle of the street for what seemed like a few hours, waiting for the inevitable. (It was okay, I was under a streetlight in plain view lol I didn't really want to die, I just felt that way at that moment)

A little while later, one of my friends pulled up and she brought me inside wrapped me up in a blanket, and laid by my side all night.
At some point during the night after she fell asleep, I rolled to the edge of the bed, slid my notebook out from underneath, and from the edge of the bed with my notebook on the floor, using the light from the TV, I rambled this off.

House Of Cards

Sittin' in the middle of the street
like the world doesn't exist anymore
hands balled up in fists
and tears fillin' up puddles on the floor

It feels like this town is out to get you
and life has left you behind
everything you ever wanted to be
exists in another place, in another time

All you really want to do is
make it through the night
but the longer this question goes unanswered
the less you want to fight

You're hidin' in the shadows
feelin' abandoned by the sun
and everything seemed finished
before it had even begun

The moon slicin' through the darkness
casting it's glow all around
you see the city asleep
and barely hear any sounds

and yet in the midst of this quiet calm
everything is broken and crumblin' at your feet
all hope has drifted away
leavin' you beaten in defeat

Now that you don't have anywhere to go
nothin' left to fight for and you're ready to fall
the same question keeps runnin' thru your mind
"have you really given it your all?"

no

So now you know the answer
and it's starin' you down
like the barrel of a gun
in the hands of this town

it's in everywhere you look
and everything you see
no one givin' you a chance to make it happen
or to get back on your feet

Can't you find just one reason
to come back to me now
'cause these hands scream to hold you
and you're someone I can't live without


-Artie DaMann-

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jj1562 commented on House Of Cards

04-28-2012

i feel like this alot and i really liked it yeah im 17

1990lh commented on House Of Cards

04-28-2012

love the poem.. I can just feel your despair and inner battle with yourself. Is it really over? is she really gone? did I fight hard enough.. love it like a small movie... very artie :0)

Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

Artie’s Poems (71)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Fireflies 1
My Final Prayer 1
A Whisper Behind The Scream 3
She 2
Miss You 1
Speechless 1
Clarity 2
Believe 3
The Song Of My Life 2
A Piece Of Me (2012) 5
The Children Of The Night 5
House Of Cards 2
A Journey To The Surface 3
Until Next Time 2
Sinister 2
One Life 3
Irreverent Pleasures 19
Prelude To A Nightmare 23
Scratching The Surface 27
Conundrum 19
Defeated 33
The Blood Of The Poet 35
Beyond The Looking Glass 24
Embraced 22
The Night Of Eternal Light 18
The Forbidden Fruit 19
The Creator Of Tomorrow 15
The Band Played On 16
Mortal Memories, Immortal Thoughts 22
Fade 23
Unfinished & Untitled 16
The Machine 16
Instrument 20
Beyond My Grasp 26
The Day I Lost Aim 17
Cyclone 18
I Await 52
A Decade Of Stone 18
#1 20
The Mask Of Fear And Doubt 13
...they don't exist 12
A Breath Of Air 16
More Of You 18
Hostage 10
Soulless Solace 14
Power Outage 15
Why I Believe 23
Duet 21
Forever Unfinished 28
Gravity 24
Cosmic Smoke 46
Surviving The Storm 36
Feed 29
Everyday 23
Reborn 35
Overcome 35
Hmmm... 28
What Does This Mean To You? 31
The Beacon Ignited 18
Purify 25
Endless 12
One Moment In Time 30
A Peek Inside 28
A Piece Of Me 20
The Ocean 26
A Beacon Of Light 27
1987 26
A Cold Future 15
The Child Who Could Fly 43
Your Path 20
The First Thoughts Of Love 28