I Might Be Luck Next Time

I hold this blade.Close to my skin."God forgive me for what I've done" I say.Laying the blade on my wrist.Sliding it across my arm.It felt so nice.I slide it across my arm again and again.Loving this feeling.I look at my arm.Seeing all the blood pouring out of my skin.I'm losing alot of blood.I feel dizzy.But I can't stop myself.Anymore.I won't,Not this time.I slice myself open even more.I don't care anymore.I can't,I won't live to suffer."God please help me"I say out loud.I lay on the floor.Closing my eyes."I think I'm dieing god.I'm sorry"I say.I pray in my head.As tears stain my face.I feel so peaceful.I see a light but then I feel sharp pain.I open my eyes slowly.I'm in so much pain.I see the ones I love crying.I can't say anything.I see them look at me in shock.I woke up but maybe next time I won't be so lucky.I'm sorry.