I Offer These Gifts

14 Comments

Poem Commentary

Written for a friend who's girlfriend left him for some guy she had just met.

I Offer These Gifts

I stand before you,
bleeding and dying.
I stand here to offer my heart,
which I carved out of my chest.
I offer you each lung for every lie I ever told.
I sway side to side as I offer you my organs one by one.
It is what you deserve after all the pain I put you through.
Now I stand before you,
a hallow corpse,
filled with nothing but pain and sorrow.
It is time now for my last gift to you.
I offer you the blood that flows from my wounds.
“I hope you make it last” I say as I leave the gift that you would have cherished alive.
I leave you with my mutilated corpse and a head full of nightmarish memories.

Poem Comments

(14)

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urlover91 commented on I Offer These Gifts

01-04-2010

buttercup!!!! lol jk jk please dont beat me up!!! its good. ok, i'll admit and dont brag. rating down! lol jk

wamomo commented on I Offer These Gifts

12-19-2009

...very deep, dark & profound write.. full of emotion....you are a very deep thinker!!...can't wait to read more!...great job!

SuperChick76 commented on I Offer These Gifts

12-19-2009

The last line is a little off flow, but the rest of it was very nicely written. It's describing such guilt and the offering of ones life. Brilliantly written.

sammia commented on I Offer These Gifts

12-19-2009

WOW is all i can say. my favorite line in this is " I stand before you, bleeding and dying." wonderfful write

blanket commented on I Offer These Gifts

12-19-2009

fantastically morbid and oh so dark.....very very good doll.....loved it.

Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

loveswar09’s Poems (71)

Title Comments
Title Comments
An Utter Disgrace or I Lie! 1
Untitled - May 1 / August 6, 2010 1
Untitled - May 1, 2010 2
I Can't 1
Slave 2
Untitled - April 16, 2010 1
Curse 1
Guilty 2
Killed For You 4
Eternal Love 1
Untitled - April 4, 2010 1
Never Knew You 1
Too Late 1
Let Me Go 1
But a Child 1
Angel 5
Mental State 1
Russia 1
Disaster 1
Untitled - December 30, 2009 1
Sick Fetish or the Black Widow and the Puppet 3
She Waits 3
Blank Page 6
Ruined Life 2
Don't Go Daddy 4
Come Back 1
Crimson Darkness 4
Unwanted Affection 0
I Offer These Gifts 14
Out of Reach 0
Heartless 0
Diana - sorta short story 2
The Haunted Guilt 1
Whisper of a Shadow 1
Void 3
Child of My Heart 3
Love's Regret 2
A Father's Plea 5
Caitlyn - sorta short story 2
Fuel For The Fire - Ari Koivunen (not mine) 0
Untitled - December 14, 2009 6
Adam - sorta kinda short story 1
Kiss Me, My Love 2
Kisses 4
Brittany - sorta short story 2
Amanda - sorta short story 7
Untitled - December 11, 2009 6
Without Hope 1
Dark 2
Time of Violence 8
Mask 1
Why? 0
Without/Withi
ng/War Within
0
Nothing 4
Dark 2
Blue Colored Eyes 2
Rose/Sins 2
America 1
Jealous 7
Confession 4
Naruto 0
Erasmo 1
Just A Friend 5
Last Stand 2
Guiding Light 3
I Love You 2
Fear 1
Together 4
Untitled 0
Little Sister 3
Untitled 4