If I could trap you in my vigil....

3 Comments

  • Altair
  • Don't read me, I am not that good.......

Poem Commentary

Conformity...such a foolish consistency yet cured

If I could trap you in my vigil....

When I lose my will to write, shall I be missed?
As I can't resist the brisk taste of disappointment
This bliss anointed by the wiles of life joining
Such pressure upon my heart as cold weathers in forming
A storm within, such tumultuous calming
for leaving this plane, I transcend beyond it
Watching from a distance, left my torment smiling
Grace begets patience, would you believe if I'm lying?
Or achieve in conformity's breathless suffocation
A toxic gas, you're fading, stop tasting
I tried to aid your thought in clouds I'm creating
but you laughed in displacement, losing sensation
pouring from every orifice, your blood is raging
parched from elimination in your gaping holes
your riddled scrolls you behold are so told
to be followed by the masses, or lose your soul
to the blazing hole of cataclysmic folds
lo and behold this likeness is cold.
This likeness is stoned upon the walls of wrong
for so long I only followed my thought, my kingdom
I'm not denying the supposed reticent worded prose
passed down through the ages of religious bolds
I am simply stating I rather see how it goes
while following my own intuition in goal.

If I lost my will to finish this poem
will it be loss to faded dimensions so imposing
within many persons, impressions are focused
creating an army of drones with no purpose
only to follow and repeat from their hollow
the same song struck from the chords seen below...

Nothing, the blank line exhibits misfortune
empty words told, but filled by your conforming
I still rest upon my cloud, watching
every now and then I'll drizzle upon the ocean
the sea of many fish, open to this
their thirst yet quench so they welcome the tryst
I kiss the foreheads of those that fault this
and watch their torment for they are lost, tricked.
This is not a testament to denying the world
only the few that want to see it burn
so in my religion of Islam I was not born
but hold it in high esteem, but won't conform..

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SuperChick76 commented on If I could trap you in my vigil....

04-08-2010

Yet another beautifully crafted poem. One with which I can relate, I have had many such thoughts. Thank you for sharing this. :)

knight4696 commented on If I could trap you in my vigil....

04-08-2010

Wow Altair! This one is so filled with deep reflection! :) I really respect the way you infuse your thoughts and emotions with such clarity. And it's cadence is so fluiid. I don't know about others ~ But I certainly would miss your awesome poems if you lost the will to write! Don't you dare!!!! :) Great write my friend! :) Ken

Altair

04/08/2010

haha, not sure that will ever happen my friend, if i lost my sight, I will braille to suffice, if I lost my feeling I will voice it precise..it is instilled in me my friend, so fear not...altair shall shine bright...thanks man

dahlusion commented on If I could trap you in my vigil....

04-08-2010

"This likeness is stoned upon the walls of wrong for so long I only followed my thought, my kingdom..." — this line dug at my the moonlight in my eyes only to light up my soul. This poem is solid conviction: poured, cemented, and set-up as if a passing of time as been saved. Bravo!!

Altair

04/08/2010

A pleasure to see you dahlusion, a poet of your caliber speaking and feeling the character of my expression is a welcomed formality.. and funny how you know me all to well, perhaps you have a lynx to my thought...

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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