if you leave...
You asked me what would make me walk
and I claimed I did not know,
but deep down I know
that I am independent and free spiritted,
love you and want to please you.
There is something that making me
want to do what you want me to do.
And I dont even know what that is,
On the other hand I know what I want to do.
I have never opened myself to anyone like this,
and always want to take that back
but keep on doing do it.
You said follow your heart and everything will be ok.
I dont like what my heart does to me.
I feel like I am spinning out of control.
I know myself
I neither like to be dependent nor confined
but I will be it if you ask me to.
That is conflict.
Do not put me to expect from you what you cannot afford to give,
that is embarrassment.
Be clear as to what you want.
You keep saying its about me but it isnt.
At least not in a way I understand.
Yesterday you said this...,
When I told you about the curtain rod that fell.
And the song about Jamaica love.
Deep down you want to come home now?
If there was someone to encourage you?
I thought about the next several years.
Do you want to come home to me?
or just come home?
There is a difference.
Once you said maybe we can help each other
I have no idea how I can help you or you me.
Tell me clearly.
I cannot read between the lines,
not your life, not your poetry.
With your poetry, you are free to do whatever you like.
I am over it.
My hands are open for you to see but
yours are closed.
If you really want me there is no privacy.
Unknown variables dont work well for me.
There is something that I am not getting.
I just want to walk on solid ground again.
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