Yeah you think you see me

But you don't, I'm not here.

I have eyes that refuse to see

It's life, not death I fear.

I don't remember anything

Until I was thirteen

Rope around neck, suffocating

All I might have been.

I am nothing, nonexistent

Which is good enough for me.

A whisper in the far off distant

I'm here yet have no wish to be.

If there is a place beyond

This grimy scum called earth

My spirit has been pawned

My salvation is rebirth.

You have nothing that I need

Please don't try to rescue

I'll just cut you till I bleed

Don't expect a breakthrough.

I am gay and I'm bi;

A mere receptacle for lust.

No aspirations left have I

I can't feel and I don't trust.

Love is a four letter word

That invokes no emotion

If I see another's worth

It's just going through the motions.

I'm here until I die

I don't even see the point

In giving life a try

As I roll another joint.

One hundred thirty pounds

Is the stipend I receive.

I get it on the grounds

I shouldn't have been conceived.

I stand upon my cliff

Smoking fags, taking notes.

If you hear a cough, a sniff

It's a huff turned to a choke.

I know you want to save

But trust me when I say

I am ready for the grave

Can't envision any other way.

As I stomp out my last cig

I won't look over my shoulder

I'm off to my last gig;

Death could not be colder.

Farewell to those who tried

Thanks to those who didn't

When I'm gone, don't cry

I was always just a figment.