Just wanted to be loved, feel safe, never be left alone

Wanted to make you proud dad, wanted to follow in your foot steps

Poor Mom so caught up in her battle with dad

Why Mom and Dad are you two so consumed with fighting each other

What about me

I want your Love

I don’t want to be used as a pawn to hurt the other parent

I’m too young to be forced-to choose between parents

Why are you doing this to me

I Love you both

Please don’t break our family apart

Why am I a disappointment Dad

Why aren’t I good enough Dad

Why am I an embarrassment Dad

Why don’t you Love me Dad

Why is my little sister treated like the oldest

I’m the oldest

But am treated like a step child

I was never a priority for my parents

I was abandoned by both my parents

Left to survive on my own

A young adult

I fall in love

Get engaged

She abandons me in the middle of war

In and out of relationships

Giving what I feel is Love

Trying to share my Heart with another

I’m countlessly betrayed

Countlessly abandoned

What is wrong with me

Am I a monster

Am I not good enough

My Heart just wants a soul mate, Love

To know what it’s like, not to be alone

I want to know what its like to actually be Loved

A fully grown adult now

I have never gotten to experience True Love

I have been abandoned by every woman I have ever loved

I have been abandoned by the family members that were supposed to be there for me

My last ex has treated me like a monster

I’m hurt, alone and numb

I try to escape my fate

With a dance, with passion in the night

But reality hits when the beauty, the woman

Leaves at the end of the dance

Leaves in the morning

When she doesn’t return a call

Or simply disappears

Too old to chase such Hearts

When will I find True Love

A woman worth my Heart

Talking to my inner child I say

Its ok me

I’ll never leave you

I’ll protect you, guide you

You’re good enough for me

I’m proud of you

You were a Marine

A Fire Fighter

A College graduate

Your not fat

You run marathons

You will inspire the world some day

With a book or other

How long will I have to Love myself enough for a missing Love

I want to share the world

Everything

With True Love

But I’m so numb

From one abandonment after the other

I’ve lost so many

Friends in battle

Woman I Loved

Family members that died too soon

It would be easy to cave in from all the loss

It would be easy to live a life of depression from the loneliness

But instead

To survive

I’m numb, living life in auto pilot

Trying to figure out what to do

How to find Love

How to survive my reality

I carry chains

We all do

Feel like I’m barely staying afloat

I can have that poster child life that others envy

Yes I have a successful career

Yes I’m in shape

Yes I have an education and a house

But that’s not good enough to find True Love

As I am still single

The Sunsets

Another memory creeps over my mind

I want to cry, I want to reach out to those lost parts of my Heart

The stars are overhead and the moon is out bright

I tell myself some day in the future

Ill find her, we’ll have kids and a beautiful family

One day….Some day

I’m not allowed to give up on life just cause it hurts

I bare the damn pain on my own

Its hard not to be bitter

Wish I could be seen by a woman I’m actually attracted to

Time to sleep, time to Dream

The sun rises

I’m still here, I’m still alive

God still clearly has a purpose for me

-Fin-