It Doesn't Matter

5 Comments

  • ListninEar
  • got scared.....tried to log in from my facebook and it didn't work! I thought the sight had gone down and all my poems were lost! SO GLAD original poetry.com is still up and strong!!

It Doesn't Matter

It's hard to explain what it feels like
when it doesn't matter what you say...
in a home full of rage,
it didn't matter
always fighting, always fuming, always fearing harm
getting in fights in school
it didn't matter who started it
all it mattered was I'd done something wrong
there wasn't anything I could say to explain it
or justify how things had gotten bad
It didn't matter what I'd say

It's hard to explain what it feels like
when it doesn't matter what you say...
he'd pick me up and carry me to the bed
it was all about what he wanted
he'd take it so I'd learned to not say no
I couldn't fight enough to make it worth it
just enough to add onto my shame
It didn't matter what I'd say

So years latter, a grown up...
now I'm ontop of my life
I raise my kids and go to work
doing it all right, in my own book
there's politics and red tape,
I never let them change me
but to protect themselves they decide to write me up
it doesn't matter that it's bull shit
doesn't matter that their stories not clear
there's a box where I can write my version of the story,
but it really doesn't matter what I say

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ListninEar commented on It Doesn't Matter

06-06-2012

so glad I FINALLY left the job that made me feel this way all over again!

ListninEar commented on It Doesn't Matter

04-16-2011

This was therapeutic for me to express how the bull shit I've had to deal with in my work place, triggers past traumas and feelings of powerlessness from the past. Supervisors need to realize the power they hold in their hands and relate to the people they supervise as human beings with a past and many reasons for why they do what they do. I have not left the job...yet....so I still deal with having a boss that doesn't appreciate me or recognize my strengths and beauty. I've decided to turn things around for now and tell myself that "It doesn't matter what she says" about me, I know I am a good worker whether she sees it or not!

kkirkwood commented on It Doesn't Matter

01-23-2011

powerful words turning the unsaid into the said and making what you say matter..

ListninEar

02/09/2011

Thanks for the comment!

Kanicki commented on It Doesn't Matter

10-27-2010

Nice write.......I'll be back to view more...Peace

ListninEar

02/09/2011

Thanks for the comment. I just noticed you commented, but see it's been a while!

kdarcy commented on It Doesn't Matter

10-19-2010

Nice write of your thoughts and deep feelings. Be well k

ListninEar

10/25/2010

Thanks, I'll come check out some of yours now!

Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

ListninEar’s Poems (44)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Narcisitic Blow Revisited 0
Smoke Screen 0
Parade of Shame 0
Wicked Watch 0
Closet of My Memory 0
It Doesn't Matter 5
False Hopes 5
Ramblings of a Confused Chick 6
The Cry of a Mother's Heart 1
Jenna's Journey 0
Sleeping Beauty 0
Harmed by the Swarm 1
Naked Eyes 2
Creating Women 2
Conclusion 0
Did it Matter 3
Connection 6
Mad at It All 2
Quiet Whisper 0
Perpetual Healing 0
Stranger 1
Broken Heart 1
Dreamer 1
Playing Games 1
Memories 0
Narcisistic Blow 1
Lost Lover 3
Your Wonderful Life 1
Can't Undo What's Been Done 3
Good Friends 4
Un-formed Identity 2
Back Then 1
Moving On 1
Heart of China 0
More Than Words 1
Lover's Quarrel -10
What Words Just Couldn't Say 1
Great Surprise 1
A New Start 0
Betrayed By Trusting 0
Tides 0
Forgotten Faces 1
In Time 1
A New Day 1