I carried a child for 6mths.
Was supposed to carry for 9mths.
I watch her struggle for 3mths.
I lost my mother 4mths before.
Sep 11th hit a year ago.
And now Sep 9th was a birthday nobody would forget.
I was claimed homeless.
I was told I could not hold up the support.
I was to believe that I could not give her the chance to live nor stay alive.
Something may others pass by but I never knew why.
I couldn't control myself so how could I control child.
I couldn't stand others so how could I understand a child.
People say a child changes one soul but others believed my life would stay wild.
I didn't abuse.
I didn't neglect.
I didn't abandon.
I didn't give up.
I could not shelter her.
I could not clothe her.
She wasn't taken away from me for abuse, neglect, or abandonment.
I don't have a child because I different from you and you are different from me.
I don't have her cuz my differences cause death.
I don't have her cuz my health cuts off sentences.
I don't have her cuz I'm not perfect.
I don't have my child cuz I make mistakes and destroy dreams that one makes.
I didn't put her up for adoption.
I didn't abort her.
I didn't let her die.
I didn't let her give up.
I can't take care of myself.
I always feel I can't make it through.
I'm believed to be different.
My illness causes others to keeping on walking.
My disease makes hospitals my homes.
My cure is said to be medication.
My survival is never.
My end is suicidal.
This is what others are to believe.
This is what I'm said to understand.
This is what keeps me in a cage.
I don't have a child cuz I have a secret.
If I tell others will lock my cell.
If I don't someone will still hear all.
So I break if you promise;
You'll understand why I'm one nobody can stand.
I don't have her cuz;
… Wait…
I'm;
Mentally ill
And
You are not!