Survival

I put a knife to my neck, and what do I feel?
A soft but sharp touch
Not much to the pain that's real
It spills then rains and pours
Spreading as I try to ignore
I store my emotions knowing why
I'm protective from oppresive others so deceptive,
Repressive to cry
In the misserable lives we live
When we give up, we look for alternatives
Taught to forgive but not to forget
I repent because I have to let go
In this world so molevolent
I wont be so repentant
I wont be so sad, happy, nor mad
For all the things I have or had
I'm glad I still got my life
Livin' with triffles, trying to be bright though
I know I won't give up
Livin' to die though I'm in survival suicidal.