Little Red Riding Hood (The Wolf's Version)


  • Humor

    Little Red Riding Hood (The Wolf's Version)

    So there I was, not to be crude
    But I was sitting by the road
    Just searching for food
    Could my eyes be fooling me?
    Could I be wrong?
    Is that really Red Riding Hood strolling along?
    Would I? Could I? I wonder if I should..
    She has a basket full of grub that really smells good.
    I slowly approach, then I ask real polite
    Hello Ms. Red, could you spare me a bite?
    She said "no way buster, get out of my way"
    'They're for my little granny and that's where they'll stay"
    She pushed me aside and took off down the trail
    My hunger was unbearable, my body was frail
    So I took a little shortcut to her grandmother's place
    I snuck up to the house and without a trace
    Climbed in through the window but I made me a sound
    Little granny awoke and screamed at what she'd found
    So I tied her up, then I stashed her away
    I dressed up in her clothes and in her bed I lay
    I heard a knock on the door, so femininly I said
    "Come in Dear Red, lay the food on my bed".
    She must have begun to see through my disguise
    Because she said "my, granny, you've got such big eyes"
    I guess Ms. Riding Hood wasn't so dumb,
    Because she told me that my nose was as big as a plum.
    Finally she noticed my big ol' pearly whites
    And she screamed "you're not my granny, you're the wolf that bites!"
    "Please Ms. Red, let me explain"
    "I haven't eaten in a week, I'm in great pain"
    Then she pulled out a shotgun just before she said
    "Get outta this house before I fill ya with lead"
    I whipped out my UZI and I just had to say
    "Yo Little Red Riding Bitch, make my day".
    She dropped the shotgun, put down the goods
    Jumped through the window and took off though the woods
    I guess the moral of the story is plain enough to see
    If you need something bad enough, ya gotta take me.

    Poem Comments


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    FranzJ commented on Little Red Riding Hood (The Wolf's Version)


    this is great, funny and the wolf just fending for himself- - - - - - - -

    jademelissa74 commented on Little Red Riding Hood (The Wolf's Version)


    This piece is wonderfully written. Very creative! It is full of humor and talented scenary! Great Job! I'm still smiling :))

    ginga commented on Little Red Riding Hood (The Wolf's Version)


    It is a true talent to be able to weave your own words throughout a classic like this. Nice play-on-words. A great modern touch, with vulgarity and armed characters. rated R for sure. ginga

    copergirl commented on Little Red Riding Hood (The Wolf's Version)


    three words: talent, talent , talent!!!!

    Dusty commented on Little Red Riding Hood (The Wolf's Version)


    Wonderful! I laughed through the whole poem!

    Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    joeallegro’s Poems (11)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    The Non-Tradition
    al Student
    The Death of PC 1
    Little Red Riding Hood (The Wolf's Version) 5
    Open Sky 3
    The Art of Execution 2
    Horrible Things 3
    Fragility 0
    Work the Rut 0
    Crazy You, Crazy Me 3
    Missing Home 1
    Monsters and Maybes 0