So there I was, not to be crude
But I was sitting by the road
Just searching for food
Could my eyes be fooling me?
Could I be wrong?
Is that really Red Riding Hood strolling along?
Would I? Could I? I wonder if I should..
She has a basket full of grub that really smells good.
I slowly approach, then I ask real polite
Hello Ms. Red, could you spare me a bite?
She said "no way buster, get out of my way"
'They're for my little granny and that's where they'll stay"
She pushed me aside and took off down the trail
My hunger was unbearable, my body was frail
So I took a little shortcut to her grandmother's place
I snuck up to the house and without a trace
Climbed in through the window but I made me a sound
Little granny awoke and screamed at what she'd found
So I tied her up, then I stashed her away
I dressed up in her clothes and in her bed I lay
I heard a knock on the door, so femininly I said
"Come in Dear Red, lay the food on my bed".
She must have begun to see through my disguise
Because she said "my, granny, you've got such big eyes"
I guess Ms. Riding Hood wasn't so dumb,
Because she told me that my nose was as big as a plum.
Finally she noticed my big ol' pearly whites
And she screamed "you're not my granny, you're the wolf that bites!"
"Please Ms. Red, let me explain"
"I haven't eaten in a week, I'm in great pain"
Then she pulled out a shotgun just before she said
"Get outta this house before I fill ya with lead"
I whipped out my UZI and I just had to say
"Yo Little Red Riding Bitch, make my day".
She dropped the shotgun, put down the goods
Jumped through the window and took off though the woods
I guess the moral of the story is plain enough to see
If you need something bad enough, ya gotta take it.....like me.