what was i thinking,to save the world?
i cannot see enough of its mold
how can i ever understand its terms
and bring to it what it deserves

a bitter pill t'was to swallow
painful in all of it grants and allows
shrieks of helplessness and uselessness
a state i have been in for long

what was i thinking!,that i would be heard?
a little senseless girl running through
a pitifully seemingly witty bird
complete outwardly,incompleted that is true

did it not ever occur to me what they might think
see how i suffer silently and can barely blink
oh it burns like fire all over me and it hurts
oh it hurt,its hurts so bad like burns

torturing my flesh in a sequence of headaches
filling my mind with attachments of heart aches
tears filling my pillow as i curse my too known self
for knowing and wanting others to know by help

i should never say what i see and feel
i can never know no matter how high i climb
i will not be of use to anyone in hell
so i ought to shut up and tell

myself not to be
that person it may want to be
cos it still hurts soooo bad
cos my heart is still so mild

how could i
y did i
who am i
how dare i

know
tell
ask
dictate
help...
or is it
attempt to...
no it is
think i can...

in this very moment
at this very minute
myself is an enemy
the one who's brought me pain

help me if you know how
trust me if you can
i feel the distance...
and it kills my soul...

my heart is in so so so much pain...
for love wont love nobody...