me and Lillie Mae

3 Comments

Tags:
  • Life
  • ,
  • Sadness

    me and Lillie Mae

    me and Lillie Mae
    abandoned child digging
    gently for reasons
    through a minefield of guilt an shame.
    dragging these grownup clothes around
    hangings so loose around my child  mind
    that I am scared I will trip.
    Why do they think that I am grownup?
    They think that I am funny
    but I cry everyday,
    for those who love me but don’t know me
    and, I keep digging through the mind field.
    I don’t want these thoughts
    I lay in bed that night
    at my parents place
    I hear my mother and father talking
    my mother is going into the hospital
    in a small town
    because she can’t control her thoughts
    my father doesn’t know what to do
    neither one got the help that they needed
    my father died bitter helpless and brilliant
    my mother died happy
    sitting in her chair holding her monthly pension check
    when an MI swiftly took her life
    she lay in the casket
    her face soft and gentle
    all the worry and sadness gone
    I looked down at this beautiful person
    a person I had only seen in an old picture
    when she was a beautiful young coed
    in her old yearbook
    I would stare at her picture
    stare at the young woman with the brilliant smile
    curly locks and bright eyes
    a woman that I never knew
    a woman that I never saw
    someone had written beneath her picture
    ‘to the sweetest person I’ve ever known’
    I looked down at my mother
    all the wrong had left
    all the sadness gone
    Goodbye Mom
    Abandoned child digging
    gently for reasons
    through a minefield of guilt and shame.
    Dragging grownup clothes around
    hangings so loose around my child  mind
    that I am scared I will trip.
    Why do they think that I am grownup?
    They think that I am funny
    but I cry everyday,
    for those who love me but don’t know me
    and, I keep digging through the mind field.
    I don’t want these thoughts
    I lay in bed that night
    at my parents place
    I hear my mother and father talking
    my mother is going into the hospital
    in a small town
    because she can’t control her thoughts
    my father doesn’t know what to do
    neither one got the help that they needed
    my father died bitter helpless and brilliant
    my mother died happy
    sitting in her chair holding her monthly pension check
    an MI swiftly took her life.
    She lay in the casket
    her face soft and gentle
    all the worry and sadness gone
    I looked down at this beautiful person
    a person I had only seen in an old picture
    when she was a beautiful young coed
    in her old yearbook.
    I would stare at her picture
    stare at the young woman with the brilliant smile
    curly locks and bright eyes
    a woman that I never knew
    a woman that I never saw.
    Someone had written beneath her picture
    ‘to the sweetest person I’ve ever known’
    I looked down at my mother
    all the wrong had left
    all the sadness gone
    Goodbye Mom

    Poem Comments

    (3)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    Teardrops commented on me and Lillie Mae

    02-13-2011

    Sometimes we do not get to chose how our lives will go . But in reading your work i know she would be truly proud of you . You have a gift and it brings warm and happiness to others . Marie

    shallenemcgrath commented on me and Lillie Mae

    01-27-2011

    Wow two redheads commenting on the same poem- that has to be a record of some sort.

    train64

    01/27/2011

    and to make it weirder i'm one!:---)Thanks so much for the comments..

    Redhead505 commented on me and Lillie Mae

    01-27-2011

    This one brings tears to my eyes. Again, I like the way you use or slightly alter a word or phrase that is commonly known to give it new meaning. In this case, "mindfield" vs. "minefield". Walking around in one's own mind is very similiar to walking through a minefield. Dangerous stuff for the unprepared.

    train64

    01/27/2011

    Thanks for the comments and you already did one of my favors that i just asked......I wrote that several years ago while in therapy..Walking around in one's mind can indeed be dangerous..T64

    Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

    Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

    train64’s Poems (87)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    The Old Man and I - The Dream 1
    the road 2
    Observing 3
    Kathy 2
    the lonely mountain 3
    the picture 3
    southern thoughts 3
    she didn’t know when she got it 3
    The Bastard’s 4
    For the love of God 3
    all night drive 3
    morning 1
    one of those days 2
    picking up Kemper at the nursery 3
    a dark mind 3
    a small intimacy circa early 70's 5
    The Tomb 2
    man are from Mars 4
    one more day 2
    Our Trails 1
    my wheel 4
    A Cowboy Elk and Dog Story 4
    Oscar 5
    heartache 4
    snooty people 5
    a small recollection 5
    the memory 6
    yesterday 3
    letter to jim 2
    when I stop myself 2
    haying - revisited 2
    cowboys 2
    lost 1
    august to nebraska 3
    the canyon 2
    midnight in wyoming 3
    hard voiced ladies 2
    on a bus riding home 2
    observer 4
    the cabin 3
    riding the cows on a cold early spring calving 3
    ADHD 6
    full wolf moon 4
    don't look back 2
    pressure drive 2
    in search of 2
    on a rainy day 2
    dreams 3
    if 6
    a day in the life of PAXIL 4
    the building 2
    days on the road 2
    the day i shot the antelope 2
    Short Version of A Book Length Epic Love Story Manuscript 2
    rules 3
    spring of 64' 2
    alice ann 3
    the 60's 2
    growing up stupid 4
    looking for ruts to follow 4
    me and Lillie Mae 3
    perhaps the waves by Kalamai 2
    the wall 3
    12 o'clock news 3
    LancePaul and I 2
    do buses to wyoming stop here 4
    There Is 5
    the pony bar and grill and backyard bedroom 2
    broken heart 2
    fire and photographs 1
    Tipi Rings (Tee Pee) 1
    Culture 1
    yet, we are more 1
    somewhere between somewhere and somewhere 2
    Certain to Be A Country Classic, Maybe 1
    small pieces of life in a dream journey 2
    The only good Indian 1
    I wish I was Roy 1
    Fixin' Fence 2
    The Wind of Fall 1
    America 3
    Footprints of the Soul 4
    Remembering 1
    Edith's House 1
    Thoughts on Cowboys and Horses 3
    Haying: Me, and Bill and Wayne 2
    The Red Horse 5