Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

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Poem Commentary

Beware the power of MOM ...

Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

Lance proceeded toward the door ~
He had to know what it concealed, What secrets did it hold?
He knew that it must hold something extremely powerful.
He recalled the force he felt ~
There had to be something to it, he felt it in his soul,
It’s strength was overwhelming – like some strong magnetic pull.
~ ~ M ~ ~
He was just a few steps away ~ ‘
When he felt the electricity pulsing through his being.
Felt like a battery was being pressed to his tongue.
His hair was standing on end ~
He was mesmerized – didn’t believe what he was seeing,
Sparks flew from his fingertips, like lasers from a gun.
~ ~ O ~ ~
Stone appeared from out of nowhere ~
Lance was unaware that Stone was standing right behind him,
Until he felt his icy hand placed upon his shoulder.
Startled, but still determined ~
Lance quickly grabbed the doorknob, swinging it wide open.
Sparks shot out across the ceiling and the air grew colder.
~ ~ M ~ ~
 A blue mist filled the hallway ~
It was so thick, it impaired his vision, and he couldn’t see,
He could only feel the extreme cold and something pulling.
Lance felt Stone pushing at him ~
With such force that Stone lost his footing and fell to his knees,
Making Lance lose his grip and he too started falling.
~ ~ O ~ ~
Lance held onto the doorknob ~ 
Gripping it tightly in his hand to help prevent his fall.
While his legs flailed in the air – being sucked in through the door.
That’s when he saw Stone smiling ~
He had gotten up and was now above him, standing tall.
Stone said, “Lance, Give Up You Fool! You Can’t Escape MOM’s allure!”.
~ ~ M ~ ~
Lance continued to fight back ~
He could feel his fingers slipping, as they began to crack,
He knew he could not hold on for very much longer.
Stone enjoyed watching Lance fight ~
He grinned and let out a loud and long victorious laugh; 
As the magnetic force became more powerful, stronger.
~ ~ O ~ ~
Lance screamed as his fingers ripped ~
~ ~ M ~ ~
To be continued …
KjK012611

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thecross commented on Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

02-02-2011

Don't defy your MOM Lance "Give Up You Fool!" my commentary is awesome and off to the conclusion I go whilst I frolic amongst the daisies

knight4696

02/13/2011

lol! :) Thanks Cross! :) So glad your enjoying this twisted tale pal! :) MOM knows best. lol! :) Thanks again! Ken

Rhymer commented on Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

01-30-2011

You have ne hooked, I was from the beginning. Always leave the reader on a cliff I go to read the others 10

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thanks so much Rhymer! :) I am a suspense addict myself .. so i tried to include as much of it as I can in this tale. Thanks for the comments and 10 pal! :) Ken

Olan01 commented on Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

01-27-2011

Another good chapter in your story so I wait for the next to come our way. Olan.

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thank you so much Olan! :) I'm happy you are enjoying this twisted tale! :) Thanks again! Ken

MindNumbing commented on Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

01-27-2011

You've always been one of my favorite storytellers here on OP, Ken. The talent you have for suspense is outstanding. Now hurry up with part 6... I cant take it much longer ;)

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thank you so much Michelle for your most humbling comments .. I 'll try to not make you wait too long. :) Thanks again! Ken

ginga commented on Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

01-26-2011

knight, My sebses are heightened with the suspense awaiting ...excellent syory and you know when to leave the reader hanging. ginga

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thanks Ginga! :) I appreciate it as always. I'm happy that you find this story interesting enough to keep coming back for more. :) Thanks again my friend! :) Ken

Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

knight4696’s Poems (104)

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Members Only ... The Complete Six Part Series 3
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Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-m
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Ghost Writer 24
Nocturnal Emissions 16
You've Got Mail 28
VALENTINES 13
Voices From Beyond The Door 22
Knight Dreams 25
Dead Silence 23
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Sex With The X 42
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Fool In The Dark 15
Separate Stars 17
Another State Of Confusion 15
Desolation Of The Damned 17
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