Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

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Poem Commentary

Beware the power of MOM ...

Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

Lance proceeded toward the door ~
He had to know what it concealed, What secrets did it hold?
He knew that it must hold something extremely powerful.
He recalled the force he felt ~
There had to be something to it, he felt it in his soul,
It’s strength was overwhelming – like some strong magnetic pull.
~ ~ M ~ ~
He was just a few steps away ~ ‘
When he felt the electricity pulsing through his being.
Felt like a battery was being pressed to his tongue.
His hair was standing on end ~
He was mesmerized – didn’t believe what he was seeing,
Sparks flew from his fingertips, like lasers from a gun.
~ ~ O ~ ~
Stone appeared from out of nowhere ~
Lance was unaware that Stone was standing right behind him,
Until he felt his icy hand placed upon his shoulder.
Startled, but still determined ~
Lance quickly grabbed the doorknob, swinging it wide open.
Sparks shot out across the ceiling and the air grew colder.
~ ~ M ~ ~
 A blue mist filled the hallway ~
It was so thick, it impaired his vision, and he couldn’t see,
He could only feel the extreme cold and something pulling.
Lance felt Stone pushing at him ~
With such force that Stone lost his footing and fell to his knees,
Making Lance lose his grip and he too started falling.
~ ~ O ~ ~
Lance held onto the doorknob ~ 
Gripping it tightly in his hand to help prevent his fall.
While his legs flailed in the air – being sucked in through the door.
That’s when he saw Stone smiling ~
He had gotten up and was now above him, standing tall.
Stone said, “Lance, Give Up You Fool! You Can’t Escape MOM’s allure!”.
~ ~ M ~ ~
Lance continued to fight back ~
He could feel his fingers slipping, as they began to crack,
He knew he could not hold on for very much longer.
Stone enjoyed watching Lance fight ~
He grinned and let out a loud and long victorious laugh; 
As the magnetic force became more powerful, stronger.
~ ~ O ~ ~
Lance screamed as his fingers ripped ~
~ ~ M ~ ~
To be continued …
KjK012611

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thecross commented on Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

02-02-2011

Don't defy your MOM Lance "Give Up You Fool!" my commentary is awesome and off to the conclusion I go whilst I frolic amongst the daisies

knight4696

02/13/2011

lol! :) Thanks Cross! :) So glad your enjoying this twisted tale pal! :) MOM knows best. lol! :) Thanks again! Ken

Rhymer commented on Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

01-30-2011

You have ne hooked, I was from the beginning. Always leave the reader on a cliff I go to read the others 10

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thanks so much Rhymer! :) I am a suspense addict myself .. so i tried to include as much of it as I can in this tale. Thanks for the comments and 10 pal! :) Ken

Olan01 commented on Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

01-27-2011

Another good chapter in your story so I wait for the next to come our way. Olan.

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thank you so much Olan! :) I'm happy you are enjoying this twisted tale! :) Thanks again! Ken

MindNumbing commented on Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

01-27-2011

You've always been one of my favorite storytellers here on OP, Ken. The talent you have for suspense is outstanding. Now hurry up with part 6... I cant take it much longer ;)

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thank you so much Michelle for your most humbling comments .. I 'll try to not make you wait too long. :) Thanks again! Ken

ginga commented on Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-ment"

01-26-2011

knight, My sebses are heightened with the suspense awaiting ...excellent syory and you know when to leave the reader hanging. ginga

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thanks Ginga! :) I appreciate it as always. I'm happy that you find this story interesting enough to keep coming back for more. :) Thanks again my friend! :) Ken

When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

knight4696’s Poems (104)

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Members Only ... The Complete Six Part Series 3
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Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-m
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VALENTINES 13
Voices From Beyond The Door 22
Knight Dreams 25
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Desolation Of The Damned 17
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